Ready and Eager

I haven't had sex with my wife for almost two yrs now. Our 24 anniversary is coming up and I am sick of it. I don;t drink I don't go out and I don't cheat. I have a good job and am secure. She sleeps on the couch all the time and I can't even get her to talk? I am so fed up wtih this situation you wouldn't imagine. Our kids are grown, 23, 21 and 18. I am a Army Vet of 15 yrs and just turned 50. I have a strong sex drive, and just don't know how to get across to a brick wall?

chevy03 chevy03
46-50
4 Responses Feb 14, 2009

What got your situation to this point?

I say this in nearly everyone of my posts. If she won't talk its over.<br />
<br><br />
If she is withholding intimacy she has already broken the key element of the marraige contract - intimacy.<br><br />
<br><br />
Tell her this. See what she does. You gotta share your feelings - even if you are talking to a brick wall. If nothing changes or their is no response you can choose to stay and be happy. Choose to stay and be unhappy. Have an affair or pull the plug. Thems the choices.<br><br />
<br />
Dude, if you hold all this stuff in it will cause you health problems. Your too young to be giving up.<br><br />
<br><br />
Also, dude, thanks for your service to the country. You d'man.

hi chevy; i too was in a sexlless we are in our 50s in good shape and she still drives me crazy I gotten so non responive that it just became what is was then This happen read my stoires in "share my wife " I thought maybe I was doing something wrong and if he could get her or if she got pissed off with him maybe she would see that she is still desirable, Anyway it happen like my story says and now she has woken up role playing playing in pubic places just being fun I am not saying its the way but it came to be what her and I neeeded

G'day chevy<br />
my brief story is "Recognise Reality" if you want to have a look. Its a bit similar to yours, tho the 'almost 2 years' you refer to has stretched out longer for me. The solution I have adopted works for me. I am not holding it up as the solution for anyone else, but have put it forward as an alternative view. Sometimes, if you look at a problem, you only see it from that viewpoint. I merely invite you to walk to a different viewpoint, and have another look. And maybe keep walking around the issue and have another look. <br />
My "walk" led me to a solution I can live with. At its core, I could continue in my role as "Unhappy / Resentful Husband" in the dynamic or I could adopt a different role. I chose the latter. I was excellent at being Unhappy and Resentful - a champion at it actually, but it was a **** role, I didn't enjoy it and I made damn sure everyone in the household new I didnt enjoy it. Boy was I fun to be around !!!! By redefining who I truly was in the dynamic I have been able to let go a lot of unproductive crap, and move onward toward a better state. Am I getting any more sex ? Nup !! but I am not Unhappy, I am not resentful. Good luck on your search for a solution.