I'm Not Ready to Tell My Story But Have Question

I will post my story at a later date, BUT I have some questions:  If your spouse loves you as much as they say they do, wouldn't they kiss you while making love or even as part of foreplay?  And, if a spouse loves you as much as they say they do, wouldn't they take time and care to make sure you are ready for intercourse before they try to do it?  (i.e. physically ready)  And, if your spouse loves you and wants to stay married to you, wouldn't they want to spend SOME time with you besides when they want to have sex?  Just some questions that are running around in my Analytical mind....

AnalyticalAly AnalyticalAly
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 14, 2009

Candy002 - I totally agree with you about actions speaking louder than words - in my marriage, there is a lot of talk and maybe some changes in behavior for a short period of time, but then he says it is exhausting and difficult to be that person. I don't know what to tell you because my story is so much more than I have said here, but I am struggling about what is right for my children first and then what is right for "us" and finally, what is right for me... I sometimes wonder by the way my husband acts if he isn't just going through the motions but is no more happier than I am... I'm around if you ever want to talk privately - sounds like you have some similar difficulties in your marriage...

Actions speak louder than words I guess.

I have asked my husband to kiss me like he means it. Nothing. I have talked to him about what I need and want. Nothing. He listens and then just keeps doing nothing. So for me, talking did not help. Being straight with him did not help. Telling him how it makes me feel did not help. Telling him I would be forced to seek out a lover did not help. He will not change so I have to either accept what is offered (nothing) or leave.

I think you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. You want him to read your mind and just know that you want the kissing, and time spent, etc. But men are usuallly wired to want to get the job done, and not hang out with you. Forgive him for being that way...all it means is that he has the proper hormones surging about in him. It's not meant to hurt you.

Yes. Yes. And Yes.