Can People Tell By Just Looking At Me?

The curiosity in me makes me wonder if others can tell just by looking at me that I live in a sexless marriage?

I would never mention the subject to anyone -- except friends I've met on line -- however, can the average stranger see any signs the scream out "Hey, she's not in an intimate relationship but wearing a wedding ring?"

For instance, when I see a couple, obviously in love, holding hands and kissing each other all over (in public), do I look so desperate and jealous at them that they glance over at me and think: "Poor lonely woman. Bet she never does this."

On a less serious note, if I see an attractive man and look down to pretend that I didn't notice so I won't fantasize about this 'strange man' all day...........then go outside, and pass a dog or cat on the sidewalk, do they smell anything weird? Like the odor of an obviously turned on woman who can do nothing about it? Worse yet, do others, perfect strangers, smell anything? (Honestly, I would die to know if that answer is "yes"! lol)

I'm happy movie theatres are dark and you can rent so many movies through cable or the video store. I'd hate for someone to watch the look on my face when couples are making love. Drooling could be involved, but I bet the look on my face is so pathetic. I'd be so humiliated............and yet probably laugh if I saw the video (in private of course.)

I guess the best part is I still have a sense of humor and when I look in the mirror, I don't see any sign on my forehead that says: "Hey, I don't have sex!" lol

I also DO NOT keep a calendar of how long it has been and I would not advise that. A planner is to track doctor's appts., meetings, etc. .....but certainly not dismal failure timelines like that. There are some things better left untracked. (Like how many blind dates you went on in college or how many guys you kissed who kissed like a fish! ha! Those memories are meant to be buried. lol)

Maybe the best answer would come from someone who has a wonderful sex life. How does one look like you are having a great sex life? There's the true key for people like us: so we know how to look, act, and behave among the sexually active in the world. 

After all, they say if you want to learn something the right way, learn from the best! So, if I must walk around in this world as a celibate person, I want to know the mannerisms in which I should best conduct myself in order to pretend that I'm "having so much sex I can barely keep my legs together" to walk properly. lol

Btw

trappedwithoutbars trappedwithoutbars
46-50, F
8 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Yes, I feel like I flirt a lot more with men, than I ever did before! It's someone a self-esteem boost, I guess. Yes, I get jealous at happy, in love couples. I can't be near them or I get really depressed. I understand exactly how you feel.<br />
<br />
Trapped.

Let me tell you, I am sure there are "vibes" we sexless spouses send out. Although I am guy, the women at my office, think I am like a dog in heat. I just try not be too obvious in public but i do get jealous of those "happy" looking couple who do things like hold hands and kiss. Grrrrr

Dear Lexi,<br />
<br />
Oh, my soul is very, very sad, but I've become great at exuberating a positive, fake, confident image to the public. Years of practice through a career. <br />
<br />
And yes, Jln, your comparison is so amazing. I've thought of Barack myself too. With his schedule and pressure, I've wondered about the same issue. He appears so confident, as a couple, they appear so in love, and yet do they have sex while Secret Service men stand and watch and he reviews Congressional bills? lol<br />
<br />
Makes one wonder, huh? <br />
<br />
Hey, Jln, you are behind in your responses. I made a comment to your story "about being mad" and yet I'm still awaiting the details. What do you have to say about that?<br />
<br />
Btw

Dear Lexi,<br />
<br />
Oh, my soul is very, very sad, but I've become great at exuberating a positive, fake, confident image to the public. Years of practice through a career. <br />
<br />
And yes, Jln, your comparison is so amazing. I've thought of Barack myself too. With his schedule and pressure, I've wondered about the same issue. He appears so confident, as a couple, they appear so in love, and yet do they have sex while Secret Service men stand and watch and he reviews Congressional bills? lol<br />
<br />
Makes one wonder, huh? <br />
<br />
Hey, Jln, you are behind in your responses. I made a comment to your story "about being mad" and yet I'm still awaiting the details. What do you have to say about that?<br />
<br />
Btw

I've wondered about the same thing on occasion myself but really doubt that any one can tell. If they could then so could all of us here and I don't recall reading any story about that.<br />
<br />
I've also wondered if our spouses would act differently if others could tell.

I try not to look men in the eye , incase they can read what I'm thinking. lol .This comming from someone that never noticed other men out of a relationship.

I know that I irradiate a totally different vibe when I am happy with my love life. I am just so darn happy that I smile all day long and look great! These days (years!) I probably look very sad...if someone would take the time to look beyond my usually put together appearance, deep in my eyes there is a very sad look. :-(<br />
<br />
That is great you keep your sense of humor! :-)

One of the things that upset me most is that I am doing the same thing which I never used to do (checking girls out in a rather voracious manner). I guess it is because I'm always wanting some, but hey I'm 27 and go without sex for months at a time. I have gotten used to think of my wife as a cousin (not even, more like a sister). I am not out there looking for an affair, but if a good opportunity with an attractive female came my way, I'm not sure I could reject it. I would have never thought about it this way and it upsets me not being able to suppress such impulses.