We Never Had Sex In Our Marriage!

I want to start by saying ive never told anyone this, its just to hard to explain and way to embrassing at least thats how I feel. I got married went I was 18 years old, and We were both virgins. The first time we try we didnt know where it had to go. The first time it happen I thought to myself tomorrow it will happen. So the days went by and it just didnt happen. So we watch movies and finally we learned, but even then he didnt seem to be turn on. Months went by and we wouldnt even try anymore. Not that I didnt want to, He would reject my offers. Until one day he ask for oral sex, so I gave it to him to make him happy. That's what our sex life turn into, oral sex. We lived like that for a year, some times it would get to me, but i would just keep it to myself. I loved him so much it didnt matter to me. After the year he said it would be better for us to call it quits. I was hurt , i stick with him even after this issue we had, and he was just walking out on me. Months went by and i didnt hear from him, my life was coming together. Then out of no where he called. I  manage to forget this big issue we had. For a long time we were friends, and yes we had oral sex time to time. Went we did this, it made me feel close to him. Almost a year went by and he ask me to move back in with him. I wanted us to have a second chance, I told him if we couldnt do this ourselfs we had to go see a doctor. He said it was ok with him. Things didnt change, not even the fact  he rejected me. Even then I still loved him. After 5 months together , he was the one who ended up the realationship againe. I felt stupid, and used. I learned my lesson, Iam never going back with that person. I just wonder if this happen to anyone else? Or if im alone?

abby4real abby4real
22-25, F
7 Responses Feb 19, 2009

I guess one small piece of wisdom(?) that I could add, based on my own experience, oral sex is really nice but to truly love someone down to their soul, it takes the intimacy and passion of your two bodies connecting in beautiful motion. I dated a fair amount before I got married, and looking back, I never could've really considered marrying someone that I didn't know in that way before hand.<br />
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Also, I wholeheartedly agree with most of the above comments. Your boy had a few issues, among the most prevalent was simple "respect" for his partner.

Thanks to everyone for answering to my story. The first days apart hurt a lot. I will confess, the pain was so much I felt like dieing. Now I thank god, for my family and friends who help me get through this. Iam happy he left because now I feel aliveeeeee. Now I can go out any time any where. Most important I have no DRAMA in my life, my soul feels so much peace. I felt good to tell my story. Im really glad i found this page beacuse, i feel I can connect with you guys in different ways. Now that I let it all out, its time to start the new chapter in my life.<br />
Thanks everyone =) <br />
-abby-

You're lucky you can start fresh... try to forget him, or at the very least only remember the good parts.<br />
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Next time, find someone who matches you sexually.<br />
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hugs

Glad you were able to get this out of your system. <br><br />
Don't let this "mistake" in judgment set the stage for your whole life. You met someone who you thought was the one for you, and he turned out not to be. You even gave it a second chance and it was confirmed.<br><br />
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You say you loved him and that was your reason for accepting his ways. Both of you were inexperienced virgins and while it is always possible he is gay or bi-sexual; you should thank your lucky stars that you saw him for what he is before you wasted more of your life.<br><br />
Concentrate on yourself and stop giving your love away until you find someone worthy of it. <br><br />
Blessings,

I'm sorry this happened to you especially at such an early age. Now you have to think about yourself and find someone with whom you can share the beauty of mutually satisfying sex. Reading the posts on this forum you may think that is an amost impossible task, but I am sure it is not that hard; we're just the unlucky ones and that's why we vent so much. You have youth on your side and the fact that you don't have kids gives you more freedom to date. Try to learn from your mistakes, and if someone treats you badly the first time, don't give them a chace to do it again (especially if there aren't kids involved). A man who just wants oral sex has serious issues.

KFC did it again. She is right on this issue. It looks as though he is waht she said he is. You have no reason to feel stupid abiout offering up love and trust and are spurned. You are the victim of the piece he is the villian.

He's gay. Sorry, but all evidence points to it and he just couldn't come to grips with it and be honest with you and himself.<br />
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There is nothing that you have to be ashamed of. Find yourself a real man and live, love and laugh.