Married to My Kids

i'm 51 and i 've been married for 28 years. i spent 13 years in the navy. things were ok but when the kids came into our lives thats when i got put on the back burner.sex is once about every 6 to 8 weeks if left up to her.  our sex life has never been good. she won't even talk about sex .she thinks a subject that should not be decused. i've tried so any time to bring up the subject but all i get is the deer caught in the head lights. i got busted having an affair about 3 years ago. so now she is drinking really heavy. i've approced her about it said she would take care of it but to no avail. i'm at my wit's end and don't know where to go.

cgiver1958 cgiver1958
51-55
2 Responses Feb 21, 2009

The only thing I can add is that it might be useful for you to get some counselling yourself. It is true that we can change no-one else's behaviour, so if your wife chooses to do nothing you will not be abe to change that.<br />
<br />
But you can understand yourself and your situatin better. It may help you to work out ways for YOU to cope and to decide what YOU need to do.<br />
<br />
Spouses like your's (they come in both sexes!) control their marriages through their behaviour. It is those of us to whom they are married that suffer the outcome. So we have to look after ourselves. <br />
<br />
It is a sad and all too common story on this forum. You have my very best wishes.

this is a good place to start.. we're all at the end of our wits too. if she won't talk and she won't do anything..all you can do is take care of you. <br />
<br />
to try and get her help..have you asked her if she'll talk to someone else? like her pastor, her mom, her best friend, a counselor of some kind? if all that's a no...then you're truly left with you....you stay and live with it, take care of you, her and the kids the best you can or you move on...it sucks but when it comes down to it.. it still sucks.<br />
<br />
you're not alone though, sometimes just knowing that helps a lot