Sexless Marriage - Hopeless- Is He Gay??

Ok, for starters I rarely if ever would share this kind of information with anyone.  So, this is a first for me.  BUT after trying EVERYTHING I can think of I figured I would try this.  I have been with my husband for seven years.  It was never his looks that drew me to him.  It was the fact that he seemed to know EVERYTHING that a women wants down to the "little things."  Sex was GREAT...EVERYTHING was there. 

He does work a lot.  So for years I have tried to keep that in mind and used that as the excuse.  Never changes the fact that I have needs to...not just physical more emotional.  He refuses to talk about it and says that sex it all I want.......okay, maybe so if asking for it once a week is all the time.....we may have it once every 2 months ONLY if I get distant enough.  I do not feel it should get to this point.  To make matter worse I have caught him and he has admitted to ************!  I know that it is not cause of my appearance...sure I have gained a few pounds....but the man I fell in love with would have never cared about that....I am not the cheating kind but as the years have passed the thought is there more and more.....I do not know what to do.  When I have read books in front of him about sexless marriages, tried talking to him will not talk about it and even tried writing him to get him to open up......what am I left to do?

bmouth1 bmouth1
1 Response Feb 23, 2009

he is giving you implied permission to go fulfill your needs elsewhere. do it in a way that won't hurt him (if you suspect it might), and never feel guitly enough to tell hi. just find a man that can fulfill your sexual and emotional needs, and be careful. If you husband gets jelous than he is even more selfish - because it is 100% bot fair for him to neglect you then get upset at you being with other people.<br />
There are many aspects to marriaige that are not just physical, and i suspect he may satisfy you in many other areas of yoyr life and relationship, which is why you probably don;t want ti leave him or get a divorce. i am in the same situation. there is love here, but zero sex or intimacy. so, without guilt or without wanting to hurt anyone, i have had to get those things where i could, when i could. and i have tried oo - EVERYTHING. she either 1) gets it and doesn't care, so then why should i, thus i find other women to satisfy my needs, and this means she doesn;t really care if i do so either or 2) she doesn;t get it, and all they trying in the world on my part can't make her see.<br />
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don't flaunt it in front of him, and don;t hurt him or try to make him jealous. just find a nice man in your same situation that you both can satisfy each other's needs. <br />
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Or if you are not that kind of girl, which i sould understand and respect, then it's time to realize that nothing is going to change and you are going to have to leave. either way, doing nothing won't make you happy.<br />
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i wish you all the best.