Wow 20%... That's... a Lot?

I understand that there are many people living in America who live in sexless marriages. This website is obviously a testiment to it. They even throw out numbers stating: It is estimated that 20-25% of marriages in America would be defined as a sexless marriage. That is all fine and dandy, but what really gets me is when I start to think, "What about the other 75%?" I know the 20-25% figure was meant to make me feel better, but it doesn't. All I think about is that 75% of people are faring better in this issue than I am. Does anyone else feel the same way?

IslandGirl06 IslandGirl06
8 Responses Feb 23, 2009

So do don't feel bad,and i'm not a ugly chick either...well,hmmmmmmmm ....maybe he's just GAY!! Mine and Yours! Hey maybe they could get together!!! LOL

OP: in addition to those 20-25% sexless marriages, another 15% are "low sex marriages". Feel better now? Nope, me neither. We are, unfortunately, a sad minority.

YEA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUN 55

Polls can be slanted depending on who is taking it.<br />
You found that 75% of people are not in a sexless marriage, says who?<br />
Who are they that throw these percentages out at us?<br />
We all have unique needs in this world. What is right for me is not right for the next person. What is a sexless or near sexless marriage? It runs deeper than physically. It is intimacy and loving and caring and understanding and wanting to blend into one person as our marriage vows dictated. Those of us here on this website aren't "blending into one with another human being" .. we are being rejected, humiliated, and kept in a neat little place where we sit and dwell on the other 75% of the population out there fulfilling their sexual needs.<br />
There are many good marriages and I envy them all.<br />
But I doubt if 75% of the world blend together as one.<br />
Just my opinion<br />
Don't believe everything you hear ... people aren't honest with themselves 99% of the time when it comes to sex.

kungfuchic : Before we got married 35 years ago we had sex all the time every ware , even on the back of my 69 Corvette . After marrage I still got a lot of sex . After the 3RD kid it all started 2 slow down and now has stopped !!!!!!!!!

Jln: I think you can win. I think if more of us paid attention to red flags, we may not be here. For some sex really isn't important, for others it's the most important. For some once/month is satisfying for others once per day is. I think the key is to find someone you are compatible with and stop trying to change the person your not compatible with. I'm not saying that makes the situation we are in any easier. But for those who are coming to the site who are not married yet, they really should pay attention to those red flags and to their needs. I have much guilt because I married my husband knowing full well that sex, closeness, intimacy, was not on his list of priorities. I thought if I loved him enough he would eventually see and feel the magic of being loved and change. That was my mistake.

U got 2 row your boat in this world . U can't worry about all the others !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe it will make you feel better to realize that some of the other 75% are probably not being wholly honest about their sex lives as well. there are a number of hang-ups that come with discussing sexuality, even when it is anonymous. my guess is that the number is higher, and i'm still of the opinion that 12 times a year is not a particularly productive sex life, but it might not qualify strictly as sexless. <br />
<br />
in my case, i'm technically above the number for the sexless marriage issue, but that does not mean that my relationship doesn't feel unsatisfying sexually, and that i don't consider it, in some way, "sexless". i'd be interested to see a poll of people who are truly satisfied with their sex life. my guess is that percentage is pretty low as well.