Won't Even Discuss Sex, Possibly Has Hsdd?

I've been with my wife now for about 15 years, and in the last 10 ten years we've only made love 4 times, and during these brief moments, she does not enjoy it, and can't wait till its over. She has never enjoyed sex, and I have never been allowed anywhere near her sexually in the past two years. She is great in every other aspect of life, and we love each other immensely, and believe it or not we have twins! In fact, having children was the only reason why she would tolerate sexual intercourse. She knows what she's like, and apologies for it, but explains it's part of who she is. She admits to having no sexual desire at all, possibly HSDD, but is absolutely happy with the status quo. She is not the one her condition affects, it's me! She has never had any desire to experience a climax, and says that the thought of my manhood acutally makes her queasy (oh great!) and can't bring herself to touch me there or 'help me out'. But some how it all works and we blunder on through life. A cuddle would be nice every now and then though, wouldn't it??!!!

gnt100 gnt100
36-40, M
2 Responses Feb 23, 2009

Gnt,<br />
Has she ever had an ******? With you, anybody else or with her own hand/vibrator? This is very important. Some people are totally asexual and cannot experience ******. <br />
Next, how old is she? After having children the drive goes down but eventually it picks back up again. The female biological response to having more children if you will.<br />
Is she afraid of getting pregnant again? Do you have a birth control method that will make sure she doesn't if you don't both want to? This enters into every womans head. <br />
As for HSDD, is she in any way wanting to change? Many people are aware of their lack of desire and want to change. Many don't. <br />
<br />
Christina, the RN.

Your wedding vows are promises made to each other, based upon honesty and a willingness to keep them.<br><br />
Your story suggests that your wife has decided how the vows will be defined. <br><br />
" Fun55 " suggest she see a doctor, which is excellent advice. Before too much time slips by, and the best years of your sexual life are behind you<br><br />
I couldn't help but visualize how "cold" it must seem for your children never to see mommy and daddy cuddle together or show any intimacy to each other.<br><br />
Your wife needs help with her sexual problem and you already know that you don't have a sexual problem.<br><br />
We are all of the same cloth here ... wishing that things could be different with our spouses and many of us never lived the happily ever after. <br><br />
Better to feel, than to not feel at all. <br><br />
Your wife is blessed to have such a man as you stand by her side, but how much are you going to sacrifice in your life? <br><br />
Blessings for a happy outcome.