Newspaper Article About This Group

I read the Toronto Globe and Mail's article about this EP group and's sexless marriage group. Reporter  Zosia Bielski's piece skipped across the surface of the subject obviously aimed at an audience who knows nothing of sexless marriage and the groups that discuss it. She only used one interview with an EP member ("Diane") which was good (I would have liked to hear more from her), and she (Bielski) quoted long time (yuku) sexless marriage veteran "Privateer812" who is one of the more conservative members over there who advises "don't be drawn into the dysfunction of the sexless marriage" whatever the hell that means.

It would have been nice to hear the other side of the story, from Refusing Spouses explaining why they refuse because you come away from the article believing the Refusers are all frigid women and p*o*r*n crazed men rather than real human beings suffering from deep psychological difficulties.

She does quote Toronto sex therapist Marion Goertz who alludes to sexless marriages being caused by "reasons beyond the physical" but that's it.

All in all not a bad article. One para about the psychological causes of sexless marriages (anxiety, depression, fear of intimacy/attachment disorders, psychogenic sexual dysfunction etc) would have been nice as well as some input from Refusers.

Those outside Toronto may be able to find it on the Globe's website although it may not be posted until tomorrow (Friday):

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7 Responses Feb 26, 2009

agree willow. i don't want to be discovered here. not that i'm ashamed of this board -- i'm emphatically not! however, i like having this place under the cover of the mass of internet message boards to discuss a very private problem in anonymity. i'm still anonymous, but it feels a little exposing to be in a newspaper.

It's strange, seeing our website in one of our national newspapers here in Canada. It's even stranger to see the deckhead, summing up the story: Unfulfilled spouses (like me . . .Lol) are going on the web (ummm, nearly every day) to vent about low libidos (hers, not mine), rejection and going years without so much as a kiss.<br />
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On one hand, it's good that a paper is on top of a popular and growing trend. So, yes, they're on to something, seeing what we're doing. They were also one of the first papers to report on the popularity of Ashley Madison, based in Toronto.<br />
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On the other hand, it's like being discovered, isn't it? There's a sense of privacy here, of being among like-minded husbands and wives. Or as lebowski28 just said, we're just trying to deal with these conflicting emotions as best we can.

I totally love my spouse but he is sick pretty well ALL of the I just do my own thing as much as I can. My daughter asked me if I ever get lonely and of course I do. I sort of dont know what to do other than to keep myself very busy and engaged in oher things, which I do.....but there is always a big knot in my chest and my future does scare me.

This same article drew me to the site and to write my story. I hope that it helps me as well

few of us actually hate our spouses for denying us, and usually there is a reason for it, which is why the emotions that come with this experience are so conflicted and encompassing. it's love for our partners/spouses that keep us in the situations we are in, even though our needs might not be met in the ways that we would like.

Correct. In my case, a combination of emotional and physical disabilities prevents her. I dont doubt that she loves me. She just cannot physically show it or experience the joys of that kind of intimacy. As sad and frustrating as that is, I cant hate her for it.

I saw it there as well, that's what prompted me to sign in. I hope I can find some answers, or at least a little comfort here