Happy As You Want to Be

I think it may have been Abe Lincoln who said "A person is about as happy as they want to be".   I am trying.  I am trying to find ways to be happy within myself regardless of the circumstances and people around me.  Surely, there must be a way to be happy even in a sexless marriage.  I am working on it.  It is challenging. 

ncdude ncdude
51-55, M
4 Responses Feb 26, 2009

Well said.

Sure there are lots of ways to be happy. I learned tod be happy with friends, working out, doing martial arts, shopping. The problem is that there is always that ONE THING, that you can't shake. It hovers over you like a dark stormy cloud that won't go away. . . WHY DOESN'T MY HUSBAND WANT ME? WHY DON'T WE LOVE? WHY IS THERE NO PASSION IN MY MARRIAGE? WHAT AM I DOING THAT MAKES HIM HATE ME SO MUCH?<br />
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That ONE thing will keep you in a state of unhappiness, because you are with someone, but alone.

I agree with reflections3 - Life is NOT a dress rehearsal.<br />
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As for finding happiness in a sexless marriage, I have come to the conclusion that, for me, there IS no happiness in a marriage without intimacy (sex is one piece of that). Maybe I'm not up to the challenge, but touch and closeness are essential to my well-being and I will NOT live without them.<br />
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It is very wise to focus on yourself and how you can improve your outlook (it's helped me tremendously, although I still have days where sorrow rules). In addition, I also believe that, if someone isn't willing to work with you to come to some sort of place where you can both be happy and fulfilled, then it isn't a relationship worth sustaining.<br />
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Take care of yourself and believe that you deserve the happiness you seek. The truth is, we all do (yes, even our spouses/significant others).<br />
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Good for you ~~ we can't change the people around us, only ourselves. As far as being happy -- if we have a problem we have to work on it ... to the conclusion. Life is not a dress rehearsal (Enna!) -- engaging in activities will help, and of course, there is always EP