Father Abused the Wife and the Sky Fell In

13 years ago my wife had a serious car accident. She physically recovered very quickly but emotionally there was something amiss.  She had screamed her head off when the male ambulance attendant & police officer touched her, trying to administer aid. The attending physician in the ER decided that she had been a victim  of wife abuse.... So I became a 'person of interest'.  Long story short - after months of therapy the shrink declared my wife had been abused by her father - and her three sisters and mother knew about it at the time but did nothing.  (no apology from the cops nor ER Dr. for accusing me) At this point the father was still alive (died shortly afterwards - but was never asked about this).  The sisters all denied it, etc.  I just did not know what to believe but decided I would accept my wife's/dr's version.  Since then it has been a dry marriage.  Shrink said she would get passed it and our (sex) life would return to normal.... yeah right!!! 13 yrs later she never touches me, is quick to critize anything I do. Divorce at 64, though living on a 'sufficient' pension, is not an option.  For my own needs I had a very brief fling with a 40-something blonde nyphomaniac. She on the other hand spends time with her two divorced & single female friends.  At times I wonder about a lady of the night... Not really sure what to do so most of the time I let my mind go numb on the topic.

 

mungo44 mungo44
61-65, M
4 Responses Feb 26, 2009

thanks reflections3 but I have been down the path of professional help - and wife has zero interest - ("i dont want to be reminded ..." this after 4 yrs of counselling for her alone)<br />
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At times the pain of being alone or at least untouched is quite heavy. I know it can take me to an early grave so I attempt to reduce the emotions - but it does not help when my golf 4-some hits a ***** club on the way home...every dancer becomes a desire... this damn sex thing is driving me to distress - an obsession now

You have been dealing with a lot of personal pain and my heart goes out to you. Intervention by a mental health professional may help both you and your wife. What is her willingness to improve her sexuality?<br />
<br />
As long as there is life in your body and a desire to connect on an emotional level with another, you will continue to experience feelings of wanting your wife and/or another woman. <br />
No matter the age, everybody needs to be hugged and touched. We are not Islands -- we are meant to connect with others for emotional, physical and intellectual stimulation<br />
Please do a google search for the abuse and perhaps you will find helpful links that might bring you to a happier life.<br />
We are non-judgmental here<br />
Supportive without Strings Attached!<br />
Sending Blessings

I am so sorry to hear this. <br />
First and foremost in regards to the nympho - hopefully you used protection, and had her and yourself get an STD test. This is REALLY important, especially if you are wondering about her -- take care you yourself. If you have not yet been tested - get tested. <br />
<br />
Have you tried sex therapy with your wife? Do you think that would help?

I am so sorry to hear this. <br />
First and foremost in regards to the nympho - hopefully you used protection, and had her and yourself get an STD test. This is REALLY important, especially if you are wondering about her -- take care you yourself. If you have not yet been tested - get tested. <br />
<br />
Have you tried sex therapy with your wife? Do you think that would help?