*sigh* more par for the course. I got an angry letter from the loan company for my truck saying I had no insurance on file, which isn't true. stbx just pulled himself off so that's what happened. It was just another bullying tactic. easy fix, but I lost it because ALL of the bills came in today at once! However, I've made at least enough in my side business to survive this month, and got some good news regarding income starting next month. I may also have a place to live soon too. I was so relieved I cried. It's amazing what a little hope will do for a person.
I cried a little too over the fact that he didn't put up much of a fight FOR me. WITH me, plenty, but not for me. In the six months I've been gone, no flowers, not even once- I thought that was the guy "I'm in trouble." Default. It's not about "flowers" but about what it represents.

I took today to myself. Took some time to cry, watch movies, get my *** in gear, and get some much needed sleep.

I met someone (for a while now, I just haven't been saying anything), and neither of us are ready, so we've elected to remain friends, but it's hard. I'm going to need some time, too, so blech. BUT in doing the self work i'm doing i'm getting a lot healthier so that's good and will help expedite my being ready. It's all very confusing.

I feel like my life is moving on, but I'm stuck right now. It's an awful feeling.
braverthanithink braverthanithink
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 15, 2014

Sometimes life doesn't move fast enough and we feel stuck even though great change is taking place. Conversely, sometimes we're perfectly happy with nothing changing when a change tornado rips through our lives.
Everything will come together soon. Remember to enjoy the calm when it does.

Do you think that he is trying to "prove" to you that you can't exist without him? I am aware of a similar situation. When it became apparent to the guy that she was not going back, all H-ll broke lose. Then the real guy came out.

I think maybe that's what's going on. He's subconsciously passive aggressive and can be very vindictive when hurt.

You are not stuck. You have been and continue to be moving quickly to create the life you want.

Your stbx has been fighting for you in his passive dependent and passive aggressive way. That's the kind of man he is. That's why you are divorcing him.

You can do it!

Stay strong things will get better