Doesn't Want It Any More

I am married to a great and wounderfull wife. We have been married for going on now 16 years. When we first meet. Sex was awesome. Every night and on weekends we went at least twice. But that was short lived. she gradualy stoped. It was just a now ant then thing. Then it got to not at all. I have tried every thing I can think of. I have held her in my arms. Kissed her pashinatly. even atempted to rub her sexualy. But that didn't even get her worm. Now I just let it go. And when the earge hits me. I go to old lady palm and her five doughters. And now even that is getting old. So I put it out of my mind.

poppyda poppyda
3 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Antiqueannie, have you sought medical advice and help? Menopause certainly does not have to mean the end of your sex life - there are things that can be done.<br />
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I would reconmmend you read the stories on this site toi see how desperately upsetting a sexless life is for a person whose spouse s that way inclined.<br />
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It certainly seems a shame to me to risk what sounds like a good marriage when a visit to a doctor and / or sex therapist could help.<br />
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Wishing you a better future.

I have a similar situation, but I am the wife that lost her libido. We used to have hot and passionate sex often, but we gradually stopped. It's not anything I can understand, but menopause seems to coincide with the loss of libido. We do love eachother very much and are great friends that spend most of our time together. The affection is still there, but for some reason I just have no sexual desire any more. <br />
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You have been married a while, is your wife going through hormonal changes? It seems to have really changed me a lot!<br />
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My husband was angry about it for a while, but that didn't help either of us. He finally turned to internet vidoes and self satisfaction. I wish I could get turned around and maybe your wife feels like this too?

Have you been married before or is this your first marriage? <br />
Refusers are both wives and husbands. Through the stories on this topic, you will find that there are many excuses for refusing sex; sometimes it's health related, emotional, or relationship based. <br />
I always suggest a good personal therapist to talk things out with. Throughout the years, games get played and we become so far removed from our reality because we are withholding honesty in our communication because the raw truth is too stark for us to handle. <br />
Stupid me didn't know that my husband was having no desire for me but going thru the motions of satisfying me to keep me "happy" .. I was as far removed from happy as happy could be ... when he finally came clean that he wasn't feeling anything I suggested we pursue an ED physician to help. After seeing one of the best yesterday with good advice, he has started to turn on me by yelling and not talking to me .... I believe I am forcing him into doing something he would rather just forget about ... .having an intimate relationship with me. <br />
Sometimes we push ourselves right into the truth<br />
If you want the truth, you have to be ready to accept it.<br />
We are not all alike in our sexual needs and desires<br />
After so many years we love the person and don't want to see them hurt and unhappy and especially force ourselves on them. No satisfaction in that.<br />
Focus on your mental health and gain some peace of mind from your sexless marriage.. it will improve one way or another .. at least you won't be in purgatory!<br />
Blessings being sent