Can I Still Save This Marriage?

As a tradition on my pentecostal family, I married virgin 6 years ago with my boyfriend after 5 months of dating. (another tradition on my pentecostal family, the longest the relation, the earlier the sex need, so the wedding must happen soon as possible).

Since i didn´t had any previous experiences, at first I tought it was normal for me to not feel anything during sex, and for my husband to finish after 2-3 minutes.

After 2 years of marriage , I got pretty tired of our overall situation and I left him for 8 months. During this time , I decided to loose myself and I had sexual relations with several men ,around 3 or 4, and finally had org.asms for the first time of my life.

At the end of those 8 months, my husband begged me to come back home, and since my family was pushing me to do it so, I did, I returned home.

4 months after my return, we had sex very few times,maybe 2-3 times  and in one night we came  from a wedding party, really drunk, we had sex and I got pregnant. ( I failed the pills 2 times that week).

After that we didnt had sex untill my son was 10 months old, and even after that was really weird, and why not? gross.

I´m really skinny, and my husband gained a lot of weight, right now he´s at 297lbs, and also have an skin problem, easily treatable with special moisturizers, but he refuses to buy and do the treatment, he also refuses and lose weight, and I no longer feel attracted to him anymore. In fact, tbh, sometimes I feel really gross out of him, at bed he don´t have any energy, he can´t sustain hes body over mine , and starts to shake because is too much weight for hes arms, and all the sweat, the smell...  And he doesn´t like to have me on top of him because he would finish in less then 2 minutes.

That being said, I don´t have sex with him anymore , 10 months without any sex.

I´m getting desperate already, sometimes I feel the need, but i don´t want to, not with him.

The only reason I keep this marriage , is because he is a good father, and my son needs him.

 Should I try harder on my marriage? Should I divorce? Should I stay this way for the sake of my kid?

 I only have 24 years old, and I´m absolutely not bad looking. I have energy, I love sex, i can´t even think of cheating on him.I have no idea what to do.


PS: sorry for my english .

Mahline Mahline
1 Response Feb 28, 2009

You son doesn't need a mother who doesn't love his father. And the message your son gets from his dad is not healthy either.<br />
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I'd run far away fast. This is just the beginning of what will be a nightmare. Sorry not to be more uplifting.