Have you ever felt like you've been discovered by your husband or wife on this blog?
SarahAnn46 SarahAnn46
41-45, F
14 Responses Aug 17, 2014

My refuser ex husband never would have been interested in intimacy enough to have discovered this site.

I haven't felt that way, but I have read some ladies experiences and have wondered if it is MY wife....

But have YOU felt like your husband discovered you posting on here?

No, but I wonder one day if he will

I told my husband about EP. He doesn't know my username. I was pretty sure if he ever stumbled upon my writings he would recognize me --but I don't really care. I actually encouraged him to read here. And perhaps participate. I thought maybe it could help us.

I stumbled across a post he started about eight months ago. I recognized him immediately. His point of view wasa bit shocking to me. And his avoidance and dodging and blame shifting was expected, but still disheartening.

I don't think he's found me. Maybe though.

She found the site once because I used her pc. Told me to grow up.

She would not spare the time to dig. Perhaps only to dis-spell that it is not a relationship thing.

Yes, and indeed I was discovered by my now ex.

I found my partner's stories on EP, quite by chance ... we have a mutual friend. Who would have thought that with all the millions of people on EP, we would have a mutual friend. I found his early stories very shocking, and there was a declaration of "love" for one of his friends which rocked me to the core.
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For me, it was nearly the end of our relationship. He felt violated that I had taken something away from him that was solely his, ie EP.

You know I flat out told me wife about EP and even gave her my screen name. I have no idea if she ever checked out the site or my blogs. I asked her once a month or so later and she simply ignored the question... like usual with anything she doesn't want to discuss.

No, but if he did, I would tell him the truth - I came here because I was at my wits' end trying to figure out what to do about us - because our relationship is stagnating.

In a lot of ways I want to be discovered. Everything I've posted here I should print up and hand to her because they are my true unfiltered feelings.

That is the reason I'm on EP too SmartKat. Specifically, I was told to read a story by someone who has since deleted their account. The story is titled "All That Glitters ..." and it is within the ILIASM files.
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That story hit me like a sledgehammer and then I just started to read and read and read ... and here I am still just over a year later, with a lot more information and insight into my own situation and myself.

Discovered? What is there to hide? Once you had the conversation where you explain that a relationship ******** of physical intimacy is also devoid of any emotional connection then your partner can either do something to remediate the situation or, hopefully, do nothing and allow you to build enough momentum to leave it. Knowing where and to whom you voice your discontent makes little difference.


If your husband has found your profile and read your stories and decides to do absolutely nothing not ease your pain and suffering then perhaps this will accelerate your transition from your dysfunctional marriage into a new, more rewarding and loving relationship with someone else. You may even tell him about it; I doubt he will have the interest you anticipate.

There was a poster here in ILIASM a few years ago who discovered her husband on EP. A few folks here were having a field day trying to get her to have an affair with him.
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She may see this and respond.
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But the irony of being a refusing husband only to strike up an affair with your wife.

I do not feel like she has discovered. Heck, she would not start to investigate until the $ stopped flowing. Who cares what the donkey is doing, as long as it does not take away from the burdens the beast is bearing.

And if she did research, some of my, emmm, unique experiences I have shared, she would pick me out easily.

God I hope not....

My account here is mine and I don't want her to know and read it. It's where I vent and discuss and get support. It's not where I converse with my wife - that happens at home.

It'd be like me reading her mail..

I have this odd feeling that my H's mistress has found my blog...

No, not here. Don't think she even knows about places like this. But I feel she knows and just won't face it.