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Long Term Health Effects

I told my story a while ago. I just wanted to tell everyone something I learned today.

I recently started taking Yoga and today was an open house. After the class, everyone sat in a circle and spoke. Somehow the topic of Cancer came up. The teacher told the class that she got into yoga after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had brought a friend of mine to the class who for some reason decided to ask her what she thinks caused her Cancer. Her response was she had a "cold spot" around her heart. She did not get into details about what it felt like but she said it was cold because she was not doing what "she was supposed to be doing in life" She said that "cold spot stagnent area" in her chest led to Cancer.

Now I have not sure she meant exactly by "cold spot" but I can tell you I have been thinking about it all day. I feel a horrible heavy feeling across my chest a lot of the time. I wonder if that is what she felt. I REALLY feel it when I call him at work and he seems annoyed, when I hug him and he freezes up, when I go to bed alone at night and sometimes cry myself to sleep, when I am bored and wish I could go somewhere and hang out with him but he just sits at the computer, when I just want ANY attention just a kiss let alone sex and I cant get anything even though he is in the same house it gets heaver.  I am noticing it is getting heavier and more familiar.

We all talk about how these situations are effecting our self esteem etc.... but this could REALLY be effecting our health well beyond the common sense health disadvantages of not having sex. We could be really hurting our health..

I don't know can anyone relate to this or have any thoughts on this???

beth777 beth777 36-40, F 11 Responses Mar 1, 2009

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Sexless marriages wit the man you love and desire must be the biggest form of cruel torture for a healthy active female. Yes, we all now the psychological probs, and reams have been written on how to stimulate your partner etc etc..But as a 53 year old lady in a sexless marriage for..countless, sad years, I am persuaded that there are several physical consequences ..I wish someone would take this seriously.. The most important factor is that the act of sex in a loving environment DE-STRESSES you..and just take a look at all the problems stress causes!

I've been in a sexless relationship for 4 years & have recently been having health issues. Along with the depression and loneliness I'm having severe pain in my ribs and right axilla along with swelling. So far I've had x-rays, a mammogram, ultra sound & MRI all of which have come back negative. I'm beginning to wonder if all of this is cause from this relationship, we have no emotional or physical connection, I cry all the time, I'm lonely and unhappy all the time. All he does is work, watch TV, play on the computer, watch and read ****. I recently discovered he watches **** on his smart phone at work. I believe he and this relationship are the reason for all my health issues so I'm making plans to get out of the relationship, he controls most of the money so saving to get away is the hardest part but I know it'll make me stronger.

ihave been in a sex less relationship for 4 years now iwth a 3 years old and a 7 years old and ina marriage that is only 8 years old.I live away from my home country have not much friends in here and no relatives, though i tried my best cried a lot tried to save my sanity , deperately kept myself away from the thoughts of love and sex , and lot more i feel at age of 38 iam slipping into depression have no motivation , iam mad at kids mostly,no way to turn back ,iam walking on a tough path holding my kids hands.I have a resentment that is just too cold i feel iam never going to fall back in the trap of physical relations that iam out now, wasted 4 precious years of my youth i pray the desire never comes back to me.I dont know and i dont see that there is anything bad in my marriage other than this and i try to keep myself normal but inside dee down something is happening life is not the same.At times ifeel there isnt anything big but why all this? i know iam going to be very sick thats what people tell me who know.

i do subscribe to the notion that there are physical effects for psychological problems. while some folks might not believe it, a negative perspective that comes with heartache cannot help with physical health.

Someone I loved beyond all things broke up with me in a fit of anger a long time ago.<br />
The inside of my chest felt so cold it was like my heart had turned to ice.<br />
In desperation I ran very hot baths and laid on my stomach. It seemed to help a little.<br />
I think Lonesome12 has hit the nail on the head. I think you have a broken heart.<br />
You don't deserve this.<br />
As to the health hazards involved, the level of emotional pain required to manifest itself physically can't be good for your immune system.

i have done some research on this, as a woman in a sexless relationship and have come up with the following, please note this applies to me, and i do not suggest it would apply to you in any way,<br />
at the onset of our relationship, sex was amazing, as we progressed from being students to holding jobs, things changed, i thought the relationship matured, but;<br />
i had always been the one to initiate<br />
i was the strong one, the dominant one<br />
we started having sex less frequently, and he was unwilling to talk about it<br />
in this time though we had two daughters (9 yrs of marriage)<br />
he was a non communicator, and withmarket turmoil, became more and more secluded<br />
then i discovered infidelity a few months ago<br />
he panicked<br />
and then we were having sex all the time<br />
he blamed the relationship<br />
turns out<br />
this is a common pattern<br />
if there is really any love left<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
then consider that in a relationship where physical needs and emotional needs are not being met<br />
<br />
there is increased frustration<br />
leading to less love deposits daily<br />
you make love deposits by acts of service, kind words,<br />
for example make a point of being in agreeement with him on issues and giving him credit for it,<br />
in my case he claims he was always being told how little he did around the house, for us etc,<br />
hope this info helps

What you may have is a Broken Heart Sweetheart.

Interesting post. I would say that JLN99 is right to point out that the theory of the "cold spot" causing cancer is unsupported by medical fact.<br />
<br />
But here is the bottom line for all of us being deprived of sex because we have a sex averse partner: we aren't as happy as we could be, and our lives are slipping away day by day.<br />
This alone is all the reason we need to be demanding that society support us in our expectation of having a full healthy sex life.

well i just got a tear in my eye - your story is very sad.<br />
Unfortunatly is the same story most of us tell. And i do believe that the negative feelings we get from our spouses will shorten our lives. I have had the "pit in the stomach" feeling so bad, you know the one where you feel so damn hopless - well ive had it so bad i have felt like throwing up. how can THAT be good. and this is because the person i have chosen to be my life partner dosn't want to touch me?? or hug me?? or show me they love me?? <br />
<br />
Oh, and i have a cold spot for years now, just over my left kidney. my mom had one of her kidneys removed. maybe i'm traveling down that road.<br />
<br />
if you want you can email me. I may not always have the answer you need, but im a great listener, and usually can direct you to someone who knows.....

I don't know about cancer, but there have certainly been negative health effects documented due to stress and loneliness, etc.

I think they do effect health - that is in theory what reflexology is principled on if I am not mistaken.