I have been married almost 17 years. The last few years have been virtually sexless, especially the last 6 months. I have a very high libido. Wife was never very sexual, never, ever initiated. She has enjoyed it and does ******. She has some physical ailments, but it's not like she is in pain every day. She is certainly able to do many other physical activities. I have been very understanding, but I am at my wit's end. We have discussed the situation but nothing has changed. I would like to stay married, but I have needs that are not being met, nor does it look like the situation is going to change. It's probably not the right choice, but I have been hoping to meet a local woman in a similar situation and get those needs met for both of us.
vladt1334 vladt1334
46-50, M
4 Responses Aug 19, 2014

Still in the same situation. We did have a long talk, but nothing has changed. Actively pursuing outsourcing at this point.

Having sex and climaxing reduces pain. I have friends with various painful diseases including fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis who still have and enjoy sex.

I suggest that you see a lawyer before outsourcing because outsourcing may lead to a divorce, so you might as well be prepared.

I relate. I hope you're situation has not gone on as long as mine has. I have decided I deserve to have my needs met elsewhere but that's after years of thought. Welcome to the group

See a lawyer in your jurisdiction and establish how a divorce would shake out for you.
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Being in a dysfunctional marriage means that divorce is looming large in your future as a base-line probability.
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If you elect to go outsourcing, your divorce risk climbs exponentially over the base-line. Either by your hand if you meet "the soulmate" or by your missus hand when you get caught and she reacts volcanically.
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"Outsourcing Your Needs" is a story in here by enna30 which would be well worth your reading.
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Be smart. See a lawyer so you know what the stakes you are playing for are, and so you don't get blindsided.
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Tread your own path.

Welcome to the club