New found confidence and the his new libido - supermoon?

Supermoon. It happened.

He got a compliment from his "work" husband the same night. He said something to the effect - "what are you even doing in this job? You have so much going for you - why would you settle for this job?" Got H thinking.

The next day. One call - please come in for an interview. 2 hours later? A job offer from a different company impressed with his resume - I wrote it and the cover letter last month :) just thought I should throw that in - I have skillz - it was an absolutely beautiful and positive spin on his lack of work. This *might* be part of the problem, but I digress...

The job is amazing. Great pay, benefits and stability. It wasn't even a question. He took it and gave his two week notice to his uncle a couple of weeks ago. He will be home for good in two nights. He has been alluding to getting me alone... Having his way with me, other stuff I like. Dung chicka dung dung. Totally a new person overall. He talked about "taking care of things" gasp!!! Swoon!!!

When the offer came, I had the most genuine smile I have felt on my face in easily 5 years. Genuine, people!!!! I have been faking everything to this point. A shell of myself. Never realized it until that day.

Still, though. I am waiting for another shoe to drop. I have become a different shell of myself. My dog got in the trash 3 days ago? He spilled the coffee grounds. I still haven't cleaned them up. I am just deflated and have no energy. I am relieved and totally spent at the same time.

If things do get better (and I realize this is a long-shot) but I am going to have to change gears quick. Why? I have been living like this, scraping by in many ways for many years. It's a loss, too - no matter how badly I want to shed it. I sit in bed, depressed, wondering if maybe this was me the entire time.

Why am I not happy now?
jmx46578 jmx46578
36-40, F
6 Responses Aug 20, 2014

Set up a timeline for yourself and him. If things return to how they were six months, a year, whatever you choose, after he starts his new job, you go back to whatever your plan of action was before you did up his resume.
Until then, borrow no worries from tomorrow. Be happy, keep smiling and ride this positive wave as far as it will take you.
Assuming this lasts a while, set up another goal to talk to your husband about the change in his ways/attitude once he's settled at his new job (I'm thinking a few weeks/one month). Don't expect anything extraordinary to come from that conversation, but do let him know you've noticed a big change and you very much approve.
I wish you luck. Take all the happy you can get!

Exciting. It will find a new base line and things will go back to the current routine. Temporary deal here.

However if this lights him up then get in board and make it happen on your side.

If he does not shift then you know you fooled yourself and you won't want to keep believing in change of this nature to fix things.

You're probably have been very excited the last couple of weeks, and not getting the necessary good sleep. You would do yourself a favor to get up cook yourself a good healthy meal. Pamper yourself, relax, things are going to be good. Clean up the trash for goodness sake, just looking at that is destructive to your frame of mind. Good job on the resume!! Push the worries aside today!

Because it's all talk right now. When he shows you what he says what he wants to do with you then you will probably start smiling. My husband has a great job but if he rejects me and doesn't want to be with me intimately I could care less about his great job.

That genuine smile on your face? Keep it, and don't let anyone or anything take it away from you.

Get up, clean up your kitchen, do some fun exercises in the mirror, and try to uplift your own spirits. Entertain yourself and develop yourself.

Whether these small changes in your current relationship last or not, your inner peace and happiness must be your core, if you wish to have a chance at making anything else work for you. Good luck! I hope all goes well!!!

If I've read this right, he has got a new job.
Somehow, in some way, this event is going to have the effect of turning his attitude to intimacy 180 degrees.
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For your part, you are wondering if you'll be able to "change gears" to accommodate his new attitude.
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I truly doubt that your ability to "change gears" is going to be put to any sort of sustained test here.
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Tread your own path.