It has been one year tonight since I posted my first story on EP and it was in this forum.

I thought I had married my best friend, and as such, I could save my marriage. I didn't want to post, I was scared to do it, I had been lurking for a week on the site. But an EP friend I had made the first day I joined had been encouraging me to post and I am so glad I literally changed the course of my life (thanks EP friend, you know who you are). The support I received was astounding, I had no idea...thanks to all of you epeeps who also gave me a shoulder to cry on, friendship, and tough love when I needed it.

Tonight is my 15th wedding anniversary. I thought I might be sad. I am not! I am not legally divorced, but I am happier than I have ever been in a long, long time. I moved out of state, changed jobs, and am out of my toxic relationship! I feel so good. I love it here so far.

I have had feelings of being overwhelmed from my big changes, moving away from family and friends, but I feel as though I have been led here.

I finally feel as if good surprises are back in my life. The bad surprises, waiting for the other shoe to drop at work or at my home life is gone. Ah, happiness, bliss, Opposite this is what "Normal" feels like? I could get used to this feeling :)
katzlaw katzlaw
41-45, F
14 Responses Aug 20, 2014

See? I told you it'll be a good noniversary.

Yes, you most certainly did! How does it feel to be right all of the time? Just kidding!! I admire UJ, you, and many others who have helped me get this far! Thanks for your continued support and encouragement!

Good for you kat! You are an inspiration to those of us who are still "stuck" Thank you soo much for the update!

I wish you the best and hope you get free soon :)

Thanks for the encouraging update from Opposite Land, Kat! I'm still frantically swimming to the other side, and it's so great to hear about the happiness and relief that's waiting for me on those distant shores.

Your time will come, too, CherishMe2. You WILL sigh deeply, I promise. Meanwhile, we will all be here to keep you from drowning! ((Hugs))

Wow - congratulations on all the changes!

Thanks, Kat!

I've never been married, although I've had countless lovers, both female and male. I am currently in a D/s relationship with a sub male, whom I frequently punish (every day, in fact) and I also keep him celebate through use of a locked on chastity device. I am extremely happy with my domestic arrangements at the moment, as is he. I have a gentleman friend, who does not know about my subby, who gives me what I want when I want it, and a lady lover who does know about subby and who loves the idea of him being my cuckold with her. I have never understood why people get married and stay married even though they are unhappy. Life is too short to be spent in misery!

Ms O

It's your life to live. Others may judge but they don't walk in your shoes!

I hardly have fun with my wife but I understand her reasons that's what brings me here!!!

I used to make excuses and cover up for my husband, too. What I found was even though most didn't know I was sexless, they knew something was wrong and there was no need to "cover" they already knew...Unless you two are working together, your relationship isn't healthy and it isn't a partnership. I am sorry, it hurts to be rejected and one clings to hhope, any hope as to why the person they love rejects them. It isn't you, it's them, but it still messes with your mind. It takes strength to stay and it takes courage to leave. Whatever you do, know that you have a choice and only you can make will also know when it is time for you if you decide to exit. Wishing you the best, Kat.

Yes, normal feels exactly as it actually means ...normal. One life to live, live it with love, intimacy and passion.

Thank-you, Lao! You have such wonderful insights on life, love, inner peace, and cherishing the "little things" which are all important to me, too.

Congratulations on your freedom!!! ...and thank you for posting your positive outcome! I know that we don't know one another, but I feel as if I can breath a little easier, knowing that somebody was successful in escaping the confines of their disaster.

Nice work! And best of luck with your new chapter!

You could find Opposite Land, too. I am not the only one to take the leap. Remember that you do have a choice... the choice is yours on what you are going to do with your life. We have one life... live it! Easier said then done, I know, I was in the same boat a year ago reading those same stories thinking "not me"....well, why NOT you? Keep reading more stories if you are new and you will discover loads of success like mine.

What a lovely, uplifting update. Congratulations.

I know how a sexless marriage feels I'm in one to it's been over a year for me and it's not a good feeling

No, it is not a good feeling. I am very sorry for your situation. Take time to evaluate where you are in life, what you need, and remember that it isn't selfish to take care of yourself, either. Keep reading stories. At any rate, you have found a great support group here. I know that I did :)

Remember this ?
A reply your put on your first ILIASM story -
- "...if I stay it may never change and if I leave I will be giving up 14 years for just sex.."
It turns out, it wasn't just about the sex. It never is.
Happy ILIASM birthday katzlaw.
Tread your own path.

Baz, you are so right, "it never is JUST about sex". Thanks for your continued patience with the "newbies" your dedication to the group is powerful and helpful!

Oh, I just constantly love your updates! <3

You have been a great friend and constant support... glad we have been around for each other ((hugs))

Congrats on your courage to make such huge changes in your life ... and all at once too. So happy that you are excited by your new life and now getting used to "normal" :oD