When my wife and I first met almost 8 years ago our sex life was amazing! As time went on and over the last 2 years sex has gone bye bye! We both battle depression which is a factor. She mentioned low testosterone will also effect everything. I agreed to have my levels checked and it was determined I was at the low end of normal. So I get injections every 2 weeks and can tell it has made a difference. Her sex drive is almost zero! Not really sure what to think! It is hard to find a quiet moment in or home of 8! With 6 children intimacy does not exist! I love my wife and enjoy sex! It's just really hard when I want to and she does not!
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6 Responses Aug 21, 2014

Amazing how that great sex life helps with depression. What was her point in getting you to get help with T and not be in the game herself? Was she not getting to reject you enough and this displeased her?

Six children isn't an excuse. Haven't you ever seen the show 19kids and counting? They still were having sex even after 6 kids, 7 kids, 15 kids. LOL

So she mentioned low T as a factor, you went to the dr, and got it resolved. So what has she done to improve the situation?

Has your wife had her hormones checked? Have you arranged date nights away from the kids? Is your wife willing to engage in sexual activity even if she feels she's not interested? Unfortunately, many women erroneously think that unless they feel horney, they won't enjoy sex, but the reality is that engaging in intimacy can stoke the fires. I write from experience as well as having seen the research on this.

If she is on antidepressants, some lower libidos and/or cause difficulty climaxing. This could be something for her to discuss with her doctor. A medication change or vacation could help. Such side effects don't happen to everyone or with all antidepressants.

Hi BigE, I'm also a spouse in a blended family with 6 kids, and I work full-time. While I know how incredibly busy a household is with 6 children, I also know that I craved an emotionally intimate and physically affectionate relationship with my husband, which he never gave me. All his energy went into the kids, and there was nothing left for me. But that is a choice he made. It doesn't have to be that way. There are always enough hours in a day to show the person you love that you desire them, appreciate them, and want them. The decision my spouse made to withhold affection from me has now led us to divorce court. My kids are grown, and since our relationship had no foundation other than the joint resolve to raise 6 children - I see no reason to stay together since we never built a fulfilling relationship as a couple. I hope the same destiny doesn't await you.

Apart from what this story says, your other stories all add to a pretty complex dynamic involving blended families, issues with kids and all.
Look after yourself buddy.
Someone needs to be the anchor here, and it looks like you've been elected.
To that end, it's imperative that you are operating from as solid a base as you can.
I'd imagine that part of your depression management would involve counselling (?). That can be very helpful.
Tread your own path.

So the story i am reading is that you had a slight problem, you followed through to a doctors appoitment and had your issue fixed.

Now the missus on the other hand has done stuff all to get to meet you half way.

You cant fix this by yourself brother BigE47. At some point you will have to decide how to handle this situation.

Stay Strong & Good Luck