this morning was a good morning for me. I didn't sleep well last night because of an electrical storm with exceptionally bright lightning flashes. but, I woke up this morning to my wife naked beside me. That's unusual. She was reading her mail on her phone. But, when I reached for her, she slipped one leg over mine. Eventually, we hugged each other full length in bed and I eventually took one of her nipples in my mouth. She responded by stroking my hair just the way I love it. This only lasted for about a minute. I understood we had to get up and get on with our day. But that slightest glimmer of skin against skin and the sensation of special closeness I felt with her nipple in my mouth and her hand in my hair, was absolutely more restorative than I can say with words.

Now, I have no illusions. Everything is not suddenly better, or even close to perfect. I know that we all are here pulling for one another, whether we know one another or not. Today was a good day and I felt like sharing it.
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7 Responses Aug 21, 2014

dayam this sounds so good it could have been a start of a good p0rn but then again I had these mini reset moments with my ex too and it always took another month or so before any intimacy happened again for us. sigh...

I think it is so unbeliavably sad...after decades of marriage a mature grown up man found his wife naked next to him and it is very extraordinary event for him...


It never ceases to amaze me how *we* refused spouses can set the bar of acceptable behaviour at such incredibly low levels.
This is not a personal criticism of you Brother HACB, it is an observation on this group generally.
Tread your own path.

We suck too

My partner will cuddle naked, but he never, ever touches me intimately. He will put his arm around my shoulders or across my stomach ... but never anywhere close to any erogenous zones. If I move his hands, he moves them away as soon as he can.
I don't know whether this kind of "intimacy" is better or worse than nothing. Although I always accept what he is willing to give me, I am always left feeling empty, hurt and broken when he moves away from me with no sexual interaction.
I'm glad for you that you have gained some pleasure from your hugs. I hope things improve for you.

That is the plus side of ILIASM, your awareness is heightened. You become appreciative of any intimacy, it is not taken for granted, and you learn to savor the moments! I feel you brother!

I gave up trying this year. I could no longer endure the rejections seeing them for what they were. As a side effect, after 30 years, my wife comes to day naked every single night. I don't know if it is a test or she finally feels safe. Regardless, I find that refusers are open to these moments if they can deduce that sex is not on the table.

*bed naked

I view this as even more cruel than saying 'no'. It's like 'Look at the hot food I've just put on the table! Now, don't touch! Sorry you are starving… it isn't meant to be eaten. Just stared at.' Sorry… I do hope you guys find some solace or common ground, but just knowing they are pulling the strings and stringing you along is kind of mean.

This was more of a comment for purecarnage… but, that's OK. I would have issues with that being the case. If it is starting to work for you or if you see some light approaching within the tunnel, then it's all good. I say keep going and figure out what works for you.

How did this change for you??

I follow. However, I can't even seem to get close

I will just keep on trying and not get down :)