Question to all my fellow iliasm members.
If you could walk away from your marriage right now. No one gets hurt, no financial fallout, would you go?
kflesh kflesh
46-50, F
37 Responses Aug 23, 2014

I sure would.

Hell to the yes! I should've been a long time gone already..... My time is coming though.

Maybe!!! If i were younger

That is sweet to say. Its just I. Want a paid for home n to retire in abt. 7 yrs..Uf I left I wouldnt have what I need.
.He couldnt get by financially without me also We have 3 dogs and I love them so much I buy the food n take care of the vet bills.

Actually the hub triescto be goid he just can be so difficult its like trying to put pants on a mule!!!

I did. It was the right thing to do. Pls take a look at my profile, and then consider adding me to your circle. Thx.

Walk? I'd sprint!

yes, and no. I feel strange because I did make a vow before God. Regardless of how people feel about religion I still believe its important to try.

And it would save my back as I've slept on the sofa for almost 4 years now !

Absolutely yes, having the freedom to spend time with my children without someone looking over our shoulders and constantly criticising us would be a revelation. Even my children agree, but as it stands I need to get them through school and university first.

In a heartbeat.

Yes. I would. I have no intimacy or affection from my wife. It's been 2 years now. I feel very lonely and empty. If I didn't have 2 kids. I would leave now... !!!!

In a world without consequence... Options abound.

The answer is yes... But then again, if there were no gravity I would probably jump off a building just to fly! 😁


I love this question. It allows me to dream for a second: if my husband came to me & suggested we get divorced but remained friends & continued to share parenting.
That would be my ideal fantasy.
Then the answer would be HELL YES.
I'm ready for a new life. Ready to explore a new side of myself through someone else.

Haha. Uh ok. But who said anything about getting married;)

If I had to answer that question at about 8am this morning, I would have said "YES, I'd leave, just let me pack a bag!". Easy to tell that I was refused again this morning ... why do I even try???
If I had to answer that question now at 7pm in the evening of the same day, I would say "NO".
It took me most of the day to stop feeling like an ugly piece of crap that is too unattractive for him to want to touch, but I know that is "my stuff", and that's work I have to do on myself. I need to try and regain my self esteem and some confidence in myself, even though, at present I choose to stay in the sexless relationship that has destroyed both.
I have a lot of work to do on myself, and he has admitted that the problem with the sexless relationship and his refusing, is his problem, nothing to do with me. At this point in time, I'm unsure whether he will do anything to address the issues.
So we are two imperfect people, who love each other, and who are trying to get to a point where we can put forward our "best self" and each accept the other's faults.

Isn't this interesting.
95% of members would go - if it were "easy".
What would be interesting would be the responses from the same members under actual match conditions, where it is a desperately hard thing to do.
I wonder how many of the answers would then change to "no".
Most of the roadblocks we face in the "go" option are self constructed, and manageable - but extraordinarily hard to do none the less.
Tread your own path.

well I can answer that as self and wife divorced 10 years ago yet we share a house [though nothing else] because of her illnesses and our autistic son - and before anyone asks, she divorced me with my agreement and consent. neither of us wants the other, in an ideal world we would be continents apart and never see each other again, but pragmatism is all in this life and that is my answer.

but the fantasy of it being 'easy' is a very good release.

It looks like you have brilliantly handled a set of very challenging logistics Brother Britannicus.

appearances are deceptive. I'm bloody miserable ! But there are bigger things in this life that the id or the ego.

no, I wouldn't walk. I get Concorde out of retirement and break the flipping sound barrier with the speed of my departure

I love it!

After almost 40 years, the last 10 of which were sexless, I finally walked out on my marriage three years ago. Our kids are all grown with families of their own, so no one got hurt, but there were financial ramifications mainly for me. Money is relatively meaningless. Peace of mind is precious...


Without a second thought.

Yes. Definitely.

Yes - gone in a flash. The only things which have been holding me so far are feelings of duty; a wish not to hurt anyone; and the aggravation I will certainly face. But I have my exit plan, and am now almost ready.

The odd thing is, having made the decision, I feel happier, even in the calm before the storm. It was the indecision I found so painful.

Absolutely. As long as the "no one gets hurt" clause includes my child.

I`d be gone in a heartbeat.


YES! Undoubtedly! The only thing stopping me right now is the fact that I'll be taken to the cleaners financially during a dissolution of marriage.

If no one gets hurt and finances are good then of course. But, that's not how it goes and currently me, my stbx and my kids are all proof of that.



Yes. I'd love to say that I'd jump for joy at the chance, but I imagine that it would be bittersweet. Even so, yes. I can't keep doing this to myself.

Ha! Before you're done asking there'd just be a TVM-shaped cloud there.






Yes, taking kid and dog with me.

No one gets hurt....hard to imagine but yeah, I would.

Not me. I love my wife and miss her!

I am not afraid to move on, start over etc. The reason I stay is to try and be strong so she will return. I don't want anyone else - just her.