Wednesday night last week:
wife: Hey tonight lets make time for us.
me: gives her a kiss that would be wonderful and leaves for work.
-text her notes throughout the day telling her that I'm thinking of her(like I always do, so it's not because I'm going to "get some")
-gets home from work and takes every opportunity to be loving and helps with dishes, kids, etc....
-purposely not going to martial art classes to have more time with her...

Sunday night still nothing...

Did she not remember? Is there that many other things that have overwhelmed her? Where am I on her priority list? What is the deal...

I'm adjusting to not getting any... not even bitter, just sad that I'm getting more numb to it all.
rufrider559 rufrider559
41-45, M
7 Responses Aug 25, 2014

Did you wait for her to make a sexual advance that evening or did you initiate one that she rejected? If you waited for her, she may have felt rejected since she'd given clear signals that she was interested. If you initiated and she ignored you, then, unfortunately, that is how refusers behave: they promise, but don't follow through.

Metta,
I kissed, hugged, and gave her the "come hither, I want to eat you look"....lol...she calls it my "that look".

I heard "I'll do better" for 13 years. When he's out of town he calls and says when he comes home he's going to start treating me like he loves me. comes home and it's the same old thing. Words are cheap.

Yup

Mine created the Master's program in this field of study. I used to hear this all the time. Funny how we get duped into thinking it is truthful. It's always easy to keep you on the bottom of the list - and fool you because YOU are actually ON the list.
----
(insert Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber here)
'So you're saying I still have a chance?!'
comes to mind every time she did that too me. Funny in a sad way. BTW… I am numb to it as well.

I think you had the green light for Wednesday, you probably should have took the lead and with confidence and been the initiator.

I have the same issue with my husband. I can't decide whether to stay or leave. It's so hard :-(

In your run of stories from back nearly a year ago, this seems a common them. How she overtly 'says' that she desires you and wants to **** you, but does not translate that into action.
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Further, this theme in your story is seen over and over again in stories generally in the group (although in the majority of cases the refuser doesn't even bother to lie that they want you)
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You do seem resigned to the fact that your deal is just as dysfunctional as any other deal seen on here, and given the appallingly bad odds of 'recovery' evident in the group, that you are under no illusions about where your deal is not heading.
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This awful realisation is your Rubicon.
It is either the end of your aspirations (and at 36 to 40 that would be a tragedy)
or
It is the potential start of you achieving your aspirations.
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It all swings on what you are prepared to do now. Once you have caught your breath. Once you have taken a really objective and challenging look at your deal.
This is very hard and painful work.
I hope you will consider undertaking it.
When you are ready.
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Tread your own path.

Oh yeah, this is sounding familiar.