Think Dh Has Obsession With **** and Fantacies

Hello everyone, its been awhile since I've been here, and of coarse things haven't gotten any better in my marriage, especially with sex. I've been dealing with this for 4 yrs now and have listen to so many pathetic excuses with my husband that it just makes my physically ill!And whats even more pathetic is I can't remember the last time we even had sex SOBER, that seems to be the only time (which is rare) we have sex together, is while drinking. The thing I do know, is although we are not having sex I DO know my husband is fantasizing over other women,and relieving himself, whether it be **** or whomever, he's doing this over wanting his wife. And what usually happens is that every once in awhile, like a mth or 2 he gets tired of relieving his own self and turns to me, and I'm just simply tired of living like this! I am a woman who needs to feel wanted and sexy and desired, all of which i felt until I married him! I just don't understand him, I know he likes breast, and I've decided to get breast augmentation, not for him understand, but for me after having children/breastfeeding and he is absolutely BESIDE himself with this topic! He can't stand to have me even talk about it, it enrages him! He absolutely doesn't want me to have them! Makes no sense! Oh, another thing I want to mention is, my husband use to date a lot of strippers and although it was a long time ago I firmly believe he compares my body to theirs! I beleive he secretly desires perfection, and thats why he turns to the **** and other women. the thing that makes no sense is why is it he doesn't want me to have the breast augmentation?!

Anyway, I've gotten to the point now where I have just stop caring! I decided to move into the other room, don't even feel like being in the same bed anymore. I honestly feel he takes me for granted and he just has gotten comfortable in this marriage and thinks I'm not going anywhere, that and his obsession with other women. Well, he's wrong! I'm 35 yrs old and i take good care of myself, I keep myself thin, I workout and do what i can to look and feel good about myself and my needs are NOT being met! And honestly i have to say at this point, after 4 yrs of living like this, I don't want him anymore either! I can't get over the fact that he doesn't desire me, but yet relieves himself to other women, and only every once in awhile settle for me, because he needs the "real" thing. No freaking way, hell no! NO MORE! I really believe there is something seriously wrong with my husband and don't think this can be fixed. So, now I sit here in a sexless marriage wondering what to do, and whats the next step. Ugh! I am so damn digusted I can't even type anymore!

sexdeprived sexdeprived
31-35, F
3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Your husband seems to have a **** addiction. He needs help. He probably sees women as ob<x>jects instead of persons. He wants what he wants when and how he wants it and no other way. I know you are really hurting but i don't believe he will change unless/untill he wants to. **** is so attractive to him because he can live out his fantasies when/how he desires, on his terms. You probably need to give him a wake up call. But I think you should make him leave the house, not you. A good attorney can get you an exparte or order or protection. There is help, try google for pure sex radio. They are guys who have fought through sexual addiction, maybe he can find help there but he has to want help.

I'm agree that you need to get out and dump this guy. He doesn't realize just how lucky is to have someone who with a little passion left in their sole. He should try living with a wife who point blank refuses to have sex for year after but lives life a though it is normal. Perhaps then he might see that sex under the covers is much better than in front of a computer screen.

The next step is some counseling for you, and then a good divorce attorney.<br />
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Is/was your husband the jealous type? It may be that he realizes that when you've had your augmentation you will be even more desirable to other men.<br />
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If you've discussed divorce with him, has he been ambivilent or has he gotten angry over that too?<br />
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It sounds like you have nothing to loose, and everything to gain by moving on.<br />
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Good luck!