Sexless Marriage and Fear of Failure

 How many times did I say to myself, "Well, there is no point trying, because it may work maybe once, then it will stop working, and I will be bored and disappointed." This became my reason NEVER TO TRY. The easiest and silliest excuse - "it will not work long term, so give up, damn it". 

So I said "screw you" to my marriage, and my husband, and had innumerable affairs. Because I had ALREADY DECIDED IN MY INFINITE WISDOM THAT it won't work or satisfy me. Well when I came to my senses, I concluded that this was one of the elaborate ruses I had used to satisfy my urge to screw strangers. Deciding not to try, and coming up with reasons why there is no point trying is the FIRST BIG LIE. If we were afraid of failing, we would never accomplish anything. We all know that, yet I conveniently forgot that when it came to building a sex life with my husband. It was just easier to get cheaper thrills getting drilled by someone else.

So when I started to rebuild my life, especially after my husband was devastated from my affairs - my motto was very simple. No matter what, no matter what rejection I get, no matter I am told that this seems a little fake, no matter how phony I feel, I will NOT STOP trying to inject sex and sensuality into EVERYTHING I do with him. Yeah, it looked stupid initially, it was a little uneasy initially, but the beautiful thing about sex is that it is too damn powerful an energy that you just can's resist it. Mother nature says, "Children, please ****", and all resistance soon fades into play and fun. I found that my guilt started to melt and fade, and my husband's devastation started to melt and fade when my sexual energies were fully and completely directed at him, and only him. 

What I realized was that until I took that bold step, and ran towards him, I had been holding back fearing failure. When I let go of it, and went unabashed towards him bringing his face to the earthly delights my body has to offer, mother nature smiles and does the trick for me and for my family.

clearasdaylight clearasdaylight
46-50, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2009

So, now you're not suffering from a sexless marriage?

Interesting....<br />
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Can you please elaborate more? I am sure we all want to learn how to do this magic! Your story sounds magical but too good to be true! You may want to provide us with more details! What was the problem in the beginning? How did you fix it? What did you exactly do? Maybe a step by step guideline! :)