I Feel So Alone

I am married to a stranger...it's been 16 years and he has grown so distant. I am a stay-at-home mom who is alone all day. My husband comes home and says nothing to me and barks orders at my son. He never smiles, never laughs. He creates so much tension in my life that I just want to run away. And the LAST thing I want to do is jump into bed with him! I have been sleeping on the couch downstairs for over a  year now. I am so sad. My poor son who we adopted,  is 12 years old and I just know it is affecting him. I feel like I'm the only one like this. Eveyone else always seems so happy. I want that too.

Suzette Suzette
41-45, F
4 Responses Mar 6, 2009

I can totally relate. You are not alone.

He "NEVER LAUGHS" !!!!!!!!!!<br />
Geez, lack of marital sex is pretty ordinary, very very ordinary actually, as we all are aware, but HE NEVER LAUGHS !!! Sheeeez, that, to me, would be a total deal breaker !<br />
Anyway, if I am reading your story right, it sounds like there are MAJOR fractures in the partnership, of which sex is only one. (you are both witholding sex from each other ??).<br />
Mate, I think it might be "all over red rover", and kids don't need someone barking at them.<br />
PS.... don't be deluded about 'Everyone else seems so happy" either, some people can put on a marvellous front !! But it isn't about you aspiring to be as happy as everyone else. It's about you being as happy as you can.<br />
Seems like you have some choices to make suzette, there might be short term pain, for long term gain. Good Luck.

I am the man on the other side of your story . I was 14 years into my break up and it sounds just like yours .. I can tell you what he is thinking if you want to hear it. Keep in mind you may not want to know

So lack of sex is not your problem...<br />
<br />
Look, can't you suggest to your husband that your concerned that he might be going through this life and having a miserable journey (I know, to say nothing about the misery he is spreading to you and your son). Suggest to him that there are people that are willing to help him have a better life... assure him you are an ally... then get him to some good counseling... maybe he needs to join a good psycho therapy group. <br />
<br />
This is sad that he is such a miserable beast, and that you are unhappy and your son is unhappy...<br />
<br />
But really this isn't about you having a non existent sex life is it?<br />
<br />
james<br />