I Also Owe a Story..who I Am..

I have been reading and commenting on stories from a lot of nice people, so I thought I should share my 'credentials'.

I am on my second marriage, but I would like to mention my first marriage to start.  This was a girl who was a few years older than me and MUCH more experienced. Also, we are talking the 70's here. I had known her as a close friend for a few years and at one point, we got together. She was slimly built and I never knew her to wear a bra. For about three years I was with a woman with the kind of libido and sexual imagination that most of us men on here have been fantasizing about. Then, in 1980, her first love came back into the picture. I went from sexful marriage to sexless overnight, followed not to long after by separation and divorce, at her instigation.

In 1986 the economy went through something sort of like now, and I ended up moving to a different state for a job.  Because I didn't have much of any mixed social network in my new place, I signed up with a dating service and that was how I met my current wife. I was very attracted to her even though she lived about 90 miles from me.

Our first date went well and our second date ended up in some removal of clothing. It had been a long time and I think my blinders were on.

She had two boys, 10 and 12 at that point, that I found I got along with well and liked a lot. We dated mainly on weekends and soon I was coming down every weekend. Just home life, and it was nice.  Our sexual activity was always termed, by her, 'messing around', never 'make love' and probably averaged once a month as she always had reasons for not. The boys are in the house, I have cramps, etc. She assured me that after we were married things would be different. I noticed that she was not a physically affectionate person. For example, if I took her hand, she didn't pull away, but made no response..it could be like holding the hand of a mannequin.

Eventually we became engaged and married on New Years Eve, 1988. It was an evening wedding and the reception followed. She stayed up intil the last of the guests had eith left or gone to bed. It was about 4:30 AM and, in our room she got out of her dress and got into bed. She said we could 'mess around' if I wanted, but that she was really tired.

The whole family, she, I and the boys went on our honeymoon trip to a resort in the Bahammas and it was really a good time. There ended up being one sexual encounter on that trip and after we returned home and started living our real lives, we had sex three more times between then and the end of January, 1989.

I have not had sex wth her or, indeed, seen her other than fully dressed since that time. The last time I made love to her I was 37 years old and I am 57 now.  First there were excuses, or 'reasons' ore she would be mad at me for something but eventually, I knew that the subject was just not going to come up. Finally, about four years into the marriage I was at the end of my rope and brought the subject up, wanting answers. She said she really didn't know and her final comment was 'I love you but we just don't have that kind of relationship'

As I say, this has been going on for twenty years and I love my boys and they refer to me as their father. They are both in their 30's now and I have two extraordinary granddaughters. Except for sex, life has not been at all bad.

If I might make one more comment, I have had a couple of people in EP say that my experience board was very sex-heavy. Yes it is, because that has been what has been on my mind. Had I been starving for years, I am sure it would be equally food-heavy. I am more than my experience board and I will appreciate anyone who takes the time and trouble to find that out.

One last thing is that, it seems to me, most of us found EP because there was something we needed, and I have also discovered that everyone here has something, often many things, to offer as well.

I am pleased to have met those of you I have, and look forward to meeting those of you I haven't yet.


wishformore wishformore
56-60, M
17 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Oh No, I didn't see it! I'm going to look for it right now! <br />

Pixelita, kind and gracious as ever..<br />
Did you see my story in "I Have Paid For Sex"?<br />
I am giving you my story, warts and all...<br />

I love to talk about sex, my board is riddled with all sorts of sex talk because I find it so interesting and fun!!! I'm not getting any right now either but even if I were I'd still think about it all of the time :-)<br />
<br />
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, most men would have bailed a long time ago or at least stepped out.... <br />
<br />
Have you?

that's a long time, you must really love her. i hope besides that issue that she treats you well & appreciates you.

No, my experience board is sex heavy because, while many of the things are things that I enjoy and am aroused my, many are things that have always tittilated me, and many are activities I have always been curious about, and here in EP, The members are a fantastic resource for 'master classes' in things that I have only fantasized about.<br />
To get to your question though, no, I am a very average guy and deal daily with a lot of things..I am very blessed with two tremendous step sons and two BEAUTIFUL granddaughters, but, since I got laid off the first of January,(me, one of six million plus!) and other family type crisis going on..<br />
Well, without love, affection, intimacy and a tender sexual relationship, all challenges seem magnified by 10..With those things, everything seems like something that can be coped with and solved..<br />
Please pardon me for running on so long..<br />
And thank you for your interest!

It's hard not to think about sex a LOT when you get it NEVER... Is your experience board sex heavy because all your other interests/needs are met?<br />
<br />
We all have our fantasies...

Thank you, you are very gracious!

Nice to meet you. I understand about some folks boards looking like sex addicts, etc. But as was mentioned earlier, since we are all here because of what is missing in our lives, that is to be expected. I honestly think about sex alot, about intimacy alot, because those things are sorely missing from my life. It is a loss to the folks who can't see that, because they are missing out on meeting some wonderful people.

Wow 20 years...now that's dedication! Why do you still stay! A lot of our experience boards look like we are sex addicts but that doesn't been we are! You just have to get to know the person.. Nice to meet you T

I also live in a sexless marriage and miss the intimacy, sex and love, passion I crave it sometimes so much that it drives me crazy. I stay because my kids are happy for now I will hang in there. Anyways its nice to meet you and look forward to reading more of your stories..tw

I am leaving my husband because of the no sex/affection thing happening. I could not remain in a relationship where that was lacking. I crave it so bad.<br />
<br />
Wish...what were you rreasons for staying? Any reqrets? You're still young! ...what is stopping you from finding another woman?

I am leaving my husband because of the no sex/affection thing happening. I could not remain in a relationship where that was lacking. I crave it so bad.<br />
<br />
Wish...what were you rreasons for staying? Any reqrets? You're still young! ...what is stopping you from finding another woman?

I am 61 years old with 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren .I have loved PLASTIC PANTIES as far back as I can remember !!! That is my life . As 4 sex 35 years , the last 7 no sex . That is my story and I am sticking 2 it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now you WILL make me feel old! LOL

Hey wishformore - I looked past the experiences you had listed SO FAR, cuz I KNOW there is MORE TO YOU!! I'm happy to be your new friend here... and look forward to getting to know the WHOLE PERSON.<BR><BR>~ 20 EFFIN YEARS / HOKAMOLEY ~ <BR><BR>You're a better man than me.<BR><BR>My apologies for my initial intro..<BR><BR>Peace.

By experience board, I mean all of the 'experiences' that show up on your profile page..I am afraid mine make me look like a real 'Dirty Old Man'!

what is the experience board <br />
<br />
That is a very sad story.<br />
I am a little over 4 years and think about it 24/7 <br />
I can't imagine what you must be feeling.