Traveling For Some Sex........................

Actually, more for someone to just even just hold me. Been together 15 years, 10 yrs. married. Last 5 yrs. no sex, or any intimacy at all. Agree, in the beginning it was mutual, but always thought somethings wrong with us. Last year, labido came back, tried to rekindle with him to no avail. 10th anniversery asked him to go away, and see if we could bring back the flame; he said, "you know I'm not interested in that stuff." Talk on the phone as part of my job, met someone with a voice that soothed me so; I told him, and we've had a hot, heavy online, text, phone relationship for last 5 months. (lives in different state). Going to meet him in couple of weeks, can hardly wait !!! He's married too, and says he's happy in marriage (yeah, right). Can hardly stand to be in same house with spouse right now...........going to ask him to separate when I get back. Only afraid of fallin in love with this other man, and getting hurt. Not looking for permanent thing..............but want more than one night stand also; even though were in two different states. The anticipation, and excitement right now are almost unbearable!!!

ssuz545 ssuz545
51-55, F
12 Responses Mar 9, 2009

Thank you again everyone. I have started dating.....ughhh another challenge. I know it may seem soon, but I need to have some fun,,,,,,that I've missed for so long.............xoxoxoxox

I am so happy for you! I know you will find true happiness and someone to cherish you. My love has moved out of his sexless marriage and we live together. For him, no other decision was possible. It is not easy for him, because he does love his wife. But he knows that it will only get better.

Such a positive and wonderful attitude! Great! Congratulations on reclaiming your life and may you go from strength to stregth. Wishing you every happiness in your future.

FOLLOW UP...............I DON'T LIVE IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE ANYMORE.........THANK YOU MY FRIENDS FROM EP....................<br />
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First of all, I want to thank all my "friends" on EP for all your support in my situation. Also, the founder of this site, as it has been so helpful for me. I have made some very close friends here, and will always be grateful for this. While I may still be on EP for other reasons, I no longer have to say, I'm in a sexless marriage, and never will I again. I do not regret the fact that I "traveled for sex", although it was mostly a "fling". This "experience", and reading others stories here, really opened my eyes. <br />
I only hope the best for everyone here, so much sadness and suffering. Love, companionship, intimacy, communication, and sex, are all part of marriage. If you don't have this, you don't have a marriage. Only reason acceptable, would be medical issues, or most likely psych issues............that need to be worked through. <br />
Shouldn't be at the expense of the other person however. I do not want to live as I had been living. <br />
As I did some thinking on my trip also, I asked my husband for divorce when I came home. He very quickly said "yes", which was surprising for me. However, as I thought he would then move out, he did not. Guess, he decided to torture me with his continued presence, and "sleeping on the couch". It got sooooo bad, I had to see a psychiatrist, whom said to me, "either he leaves, or you have to." So, even against advice of well-meaning friends, and family ...............I'm OUT............FREE.........and never been HAPPIER in my LIFE.. ! (With exception of my having my two boys). <br />
I just want to say, LIFE is TOO SHORT........to waste away......You could be here one day, gone the next. I've worked with...........in my profession,,,, and have seen,,,,,,,,,miserable married elderly people, and widowed elderly people who've been abused most of their adult life by their spouses in one way or another. <br />
We need to LIVE, enjoy LIFE, every day, be thankful for what we have..........no matter what it is............<br />
I'm not telling people what to do here, its' up to each person to make their own decision..........I'm only saying to look, think, decide, communicate..........and also, again, I can not say enough..thank you everyone for your support in helping me getting through all of this.<br />
I can honestly say, that even though I've seen a therapist to help with this, you're help here on EP, has been actually better than this lady, whom charges !!!!!<br />
Quit therapy by the way...!!!! Although online, somewhat different,,,,,,,,,,,hugs to all.............feel it.

I'm doing it...............

you gotta do what you gotta do suz

UPDATE TO "Traveling for Sex..." April 12, 09...<br />
<br />
It has been so helpful to be a part of this community, I am so grateful for the support. I have stopped posting for awhile, because sooooo much has been going on. <br />
Turns out, I didn't only travel for sex. I traveled, to meet a wonderful man; whom showed me how I'm SUPPOSE to be treated. I was totally satisfied in much more ways than one. Sexually, I can't even describe...we had fun, over and over again, both wanting to please the other more than ourselves. He held me, like I needed to be held. We loved, we laughed, and at the end, and for a week long, we both cried. It got to the point that either of us could hardly function. I think neither of us planned for this to happen....we tried to put up a good front, he pretended he was just gonna have a fling with me, and although I knew I was already in love, I held up a guard, and pretended I was there to get as much sexually as I could from him. But then, on the last day, he wasn't able to see me, and I did break down and cried. He did try, but it just didn't work out, and this somehow tore us up I guess. I know we will see each other again. We have decided to hold off communication for awhile to pull ourselves "together". <br />
Arriving home, about a week later, I did ask my husband for divorce. It was a 10 minute conversation, and he agreed. <br />
Only thing going on now, is that I want him to leave here sooooo bad, and he has not yet left. I know it is not easy to up and leave, but it is difficult to live here in the same household with him, I feel like he is loitering. <br />
So, guess I'll go to another goup(s) about divorce, ect. ect. I feel so relieved and free right now, i can't even explain. Since I believe every thing happens for a reason, I actually think my lover was sent here to help me realize all this, and do what I have to do. My hopes are for everyone here to be happy in their lives.

enjoy yourself, but nobody will save you from your situation.

Definately going to have fun and excitement....I do already feel "in love", but its' so strange because how could this happen when we haven't even met ? I may feel different when we do meet. Its' his voice that does it right now...funny, I told him that when we meet, he has to keep on talking, or if we're too nervous, I said, we could go in separate rooms and start sexting as our foreplay!!!! Well, if nothing else, I've written a lot of new poetry, and this really woke me up about my marriage, which i thought was normal. 15 more days !!!!

Good advice from dessertbarb - but it is very hard to do. When you are starving for sex and affection, it is easy to fall for someone who offers you these things.<br />
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But above all, HAVE FUN!! It will be a wonderful time for you and will refresh your spirit!! Enjoy!!

Hope you have fireworks and then some!!!!!!! But....don't get hurt. It may just be a fun fling for him...don't expect anything from it. Just have fun in being needed for a short while.

Good luck with it. We all need holding from time to time.