Heart Broken

Well have been separated for 5 months - living in the same house - very sad - don't want to give out any kind of hugs or show any affection.

 

This stems from being involved in my kids life and that he wasn't allowed to talk to other woman on the phone

behind my back.

 

 

redheadgal redheadgal
46-50
6 Responses Mar 9, 2009

Sorry to hear about your troubles. <br />
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It sounds like your relationship may be over. You need to take care of yourself and your children. The sooner you move on the sooner you will begin to live again.<br />
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There are no shortcuts. Your going to have to endure the pain of separation. Eventually it will get better and you will begin to find yourself again. <br />
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Expect at least a year to pass before you really start to get on your feet again emotionally. After the first year, things get much better.<br />
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Remember, this is just a moment in time. Life is long and you will get through this. Try to envision a better life. What does it look like? Who do you see in your new life? Now start working towards making a new life.<br />
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I've been through divorce, so I know how painful it is. As a woman, you have an advantage. You get to keep your kids. <br />
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As a man, the most difficult part was knowing I would never live with my kids again. That was 13 years ago, and I still miss my kids. I resent that under the current laws, I didn't have a chance in hell in getting my kids to live with me. <br />
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My stepdaughter is great and she gets along very well with my kids. But it's still not the same as having your own kids around.<br />
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Good luck with everything.

It does sound as if he is an extremely selfish person. Hard as it is to break up a marriage, I think you will find that, in the long run, you are much happier by yourself with your children.<br />
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You are already the breadwinner so you know you can manage that side of it. And you might well find someone who truly cares about you and is deserving of your love, in the future.<br />
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Take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Thank you for your comments - yep I am thinking the same thing. Can't do it myself - he isn't working so I am caring the weight of that as well.

Sometimes we have to face the awful truth that what we want isn't going to happen. It sounds like you have tried your best but he isn't prepared to try.<br />
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You cannot save a marriage by yourself - the other person needs to want the same thing and work towards it too.<br />
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I think you might need to start planning a different life for yourself and your children for the future.<br />
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Whatever happens, I wish you a happier future.

I am trying but he isn't willing to get help.

I am sorry that you have found yourself here. Is there any chance of reconciliation?