Frustrated and Lonely In Mississauga

great place to express your feelings....surprised there are so many others who are in the same situation...not sure what to do in my situation....wife isnt interested in any kind of intimacy...i find this so frustrating and lonely....do you just except the situation and try and live the best you can....tried talking about the situation but she isnt interested in changing...its always been a struggle during our marriage to have any intimacy with her....i guess her libido is low....or non existent....any thoughts or ideas????

pussum699 pussum699
56-60, M
7 Responses Mar 10, 2009

There's plenty of nuance to unpack and explore regarding your scenario. But honestly, KFC has distilled the choices to their most basic elements. Be sure to internalize her post - she is right on the money.

Said best here above. "be alone with yourself or alone with her".....<br />
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That's it in a nutshell.

I've been to enough counsellors in my day over mainly this issue to know they never change.<br />
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it's up to us to accept it, or change it. Most of the time change means leaving. When you have kids... makes the decision harder but not impossible.<br />
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I have lived with my situation for so long that it has taken too much out of me emotionally and for too long. For me there's no going back. My last doctor said ask yourself two questions:<br />
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1) are you prepared to live with this the rest of your life<br />
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2) are you prepared to face the consequences of change<br />
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Keeping in mind change doesn't HAVE to mean we throw them out tomorrow and change the locks. It can be many things, but it must be what will work for your situation. <br />
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I am ready for a change. The change must start with me . I got some really good advice here that has already lifted my spirits. One step at a time I know there's a way out of this misery.<br />
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There is more to a marriage than what we have. At this point I'd rather be alone. I already have been for so long now, what's the difference once I leave.<br />
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Good Luck to you.

I agree with KFC and Sliderule! Yes the choices! I always figured at least if I was alone then I would know why I wasn't having sex! LOL...Good Luck to all of us!

As KFC says, there are always choices. You need to consider whether you can handle them, then choose. My wife was pretty similar to yours, it sounds like. Since she was not interested in changing, I eventually had to decide whether I could stick with something that was eroding me from within. Deciding I couldn't, I offered choices. She chose to leave. It's been lonely sometimes in the past five months, and there's no romance in sight, but it still seems easier to be alone with myself than to be alone with her. Good luck to you.

My wife loved sex before and after marriage . It was after the 3 child she kinda of lost the fun in sex !!!!!!!!

We are never without choices. But every choice comes with its price. If you stay and live this lonely life devoid of physcial and emotional intimacy, you will die from the inside out a slow and painful death each and every day.<br />
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You can stay and keep trying to make it work, with lots of kicking and screaming. No guarantee anything will change.<br />
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You can leave and move on to hopefully a better life.<br />
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Or you can be a cheater.<br />
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I'm sorry that you find yourself here among us. But you have found us, and we hope that you will keep coming back if for nothing else, so that you don't feel so alone.<br />
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Best wishes,<br />
KFC