Lonely Housewife

Well this is me. I wont give you my name but im a young, pretty and in shape stay at home mom to my kids. They are very young so most days are just me on the computer while they nap. I take care of the house all day and get myself all done up before my husband comes home. I take pride in being a wife and love my husband so much. But he never gives me any attention and never shows any sexual intrest in me what-so-ever. I am in very good shape and get attention from most men when I go out but why cant I get it from my husband? I am very loyal, honest and patient. I smoke pot sometimes secretly and that keeps me totally mellow so I dont get upset at my husband. Its like my one vice. My husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic. He drinks up to a 12 pack per night. He goes to the bar everday and even makes excuses to leave the house and ends up at the freakin bar. I used to go there all the time until I had the kids. In fact, that is where we met. We were best friends. We havent been married very long so I am devastated that our marriage is already sexless. I am a very sexual person and cant understand why he doesnt want me. I would do anything he wants me to and he knows that. But I dont believe in divorce so I just sit here with a smile on my face pretending like im happy and life goes on. I have fantasy's about my husband daily. We live in the mountains so we have no neighbors and it can get lonely. I love my daughters and my husband so much but sometimes long for an affair so I can remember what it feels like to have a man want me and just take me to bed. Is that bad? Well the girls are waking up from their naps now. I guess I got carried away a little.

deleted deleted
26-30
7 Responses Mar 10, 2009

You can't "get" someone to AA, dumbass.

arw, Surely you are not alone. I am amazed to read so many women complaining of not getting sex from husbands. I thought it would have been more of the other way around.<BR><BR>Anyways, envision59, I wud agree with u on leaving, but then my brain and heart is not agreeing that a relationship can be broken on the basis of bodily need(as much as I miss it). What is the gurarantee that the next person, where you fulfill your sexual need, would not leave you drained emotionally or financially. <BR><BR>As much as the current situation feels like it cannot be worse, but is that true. If sex was fine and the husband beats you black and blue everyday, would it have been better. If the wife give it to you daily, but then maxes out the credit card, faster than you can pay it down, would that be ok. If the husband is a stallion, but gambles and drinks, would that be ok, or if the wife is a bombshell, but neglects the kids and home, would that be less painfull..<BR><BR>Just expressing all the thoughts that keeps me in this sexless marriage. One thing is for sure, I refuse to die without experiencing the potential of sex, which I believe I have not yet. All I get(once a quarter) is 5 mins of hard core intercourse, not making love, and no I have never been with anyone else, so am yearning for a woman to make me feel special. <BR><BR>But I will wait till my daughter is old enough to be on her own. Would die rather than hurt her.

You write "I don't believe in divorce" but the contract you made when you married, at least the "love and respect" has been nullified. I struggle with the same issues as you without the drugs and alcohol -- but we've been married for 30+ years. It won't get better. If you want it better, get out now. These are harsh words, but true.

It's o.k. to not give your name...<br />
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I can understand all to well, what your suffering is like. I don't know why he would choose to drink rather than make love to you... it's a strong addiction without a doubt. <br />
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i wish I could help you out a little more than telling you, you're not alone.<br />
<br />
james<br />
atlanta

I'm not a doctor of course but excessive drinking may be that he physically just can't get into it and therefore avoids it ? You never know. If that's the reason or a factor, than if he wants help he can get it.... <br />
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In any case everyone here feels for you. We can all relate one way or another.

I feel for you so much it hurts!

No, it's not bad to want to remember what it feels like to be wanted and made love to. Isn't that a basic human desire. Actually a basic human NEED? I believe it is.