Is Power the Problem

I feel that somehow my wife has "power" over me, She controls when we make love (none in last maybe 4-5 yrs), controls the checkbook (pays bills). I am somewhat scared of my wife and have tried to relate the need for intimacy . When this subject comes up it is always "You want sex !!! . Rejection is another concern .

I hate this feeling --people say "Talk to her" but i can't as it ends into arguments or dead end discussions about everything else.

This group is great -- it helps to know I am not alone. I began to resent her after 20 yrs of this. i am trying real hard to change the word "sex" into intimacy. I made a lot of mistakes in my life and am trying real hard to be understanding and more calm with daily life.

My wife of over 30 yrs has only been aggressive to me sexually maybe 3 times - I cant talk during sex, ask her what feels good, or doing anything different . Comments such as "Are you done yet?" or "Lets make this fast" just destroys any mood.

Are any of you scared to talk to your spouse about sex --I cant and that hurts



Oly Oly
51-55, M
1 Response Aug 16, 2007

Yes, I am scared to discuss it. If I approach him I get rejected and if I want to talk about it well that is like pulling teeth. We share power except in the area of sex and there I have absolutely NO control. I hope things get better for you it sounds like you are really trying. Good Luck!