It Is Probably My Fault

I have been with my husband for 10 years now, we have 2 kids. I was dx Bipolar about 3 years ago. One year ago I had a meltdown. All of my financial blunders had been explosed to all of my friends & family. My husband was now in charge of all financial matter since I had managed to cost us about $75k- including a 2nd on the house. I checked myself into the hospital for sever depression, because I was scared and knew I needed help.  All of the meds that the dr's put me on caused me to gain 67 lbs in 3 months. I have since changed meds, and am working hard at loosing weight- since I was overweight to start with I have a long road ahead of me.  But I am hoping that by me loosing the weight and hopefully getting another job, he will want me sexually again. Living in a sexless marriage is not MY choice.  Do you think that him not wanting me is my fault??

Katrinavca Katrinavca
26-30, F
5 Responses Mar 11, 2009

Yes, it's your fault <br />
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Are you kidding me? A few extra pounds should never deter your husband from desiring you. I feel for you, and hope things work out.

I know you did not ask about diet advice, but the Atkins suggestion here is plain dangerous for your heart plus it is not sustainable in the long run. If you go on the American Heart Association website you will find many great tips on how to live a healthy lifestyle. <br />
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Ask your husband what is stopping him from being intimate with you. His answer might surprise you and help you make changes if needed. OR if you feel it is plain BS (like in my case), well you will have to make a decision on how to cope with the situation.<br />
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I don't think the woman needs diet advice. . . LOL<br />
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We can't control other people or how they feel. Don't blame yourself. The key is to try and fix the situation. Communication in this scenario is key. In the meantime, take care of yourself, yes that means losing weight, exercising and regulating whatever medications you absolutely must take.

I think it's hard to be "wanted" when you don't seem to like yourself. Everything worthwhile takes time and commitement. Make a commitement to eat healthy and exercise and you will lose weight. That success will hopefully help lift your spirits and you can build on each positive development. Good luck.

Atkins is not the "only" thing that works. Diets don't work! A life style change is what works! My wife lost 70 lbs. 8 years ago from a change of style called weight watchers. And hasn't gained any back! With out exersize. Definetly talk to your doctor, Red is right about that!