Maybe the Worm Has Turned...


I have been married for 9 years and have spent 7 of them virtually sexless.  We may have sex once a month, but it was very unfullfilling.  She seemed to be annoyed and sometimes just bored (yes - that could seem to be my fault, I know).

When we met, we had great sex.  It turns out that she was bi-sexual (she was living with a woman when we met).  She had tried lots of alternative things...bondage, roleplay, electric sex, restraints of all kinds, was very fun (and new to me).  I have to say that as a man with a very strong libido to begin with, this was wonderful.  She is beautiful and so sexy and these were great times.

We got married and were pregnant within 10 days and the sex stopped shortly afterward.  Our house is always a wreck, we have three kids now and it is a challenge.  She is clinically depressed, hates her job and sex is at the bottom of the list.

Last week I sent her an article about people choosing to have sex every day for a week, month or a year.  She replied back that she was into it.  I'm not really sure why she was (or is), but we have had sex everyday for 5 days now.  I always make sure that she **** first (she only **** with oral and it makes the intercourse more pleasant for her).

I doubt that we will get through the year, but what a great development.  The cool thing is that she WOKE ME UP TO **** ME TWICE this week.  I just wanted to add this story because I was sexless for 7 years.  It was a huge loss in my life and I am so happy to have it back (even for a little while).  I also wanted to give you guys hope.  I think that some of our spouses WANT to have sex, they just don't know how to re-ingage.  We have to be creative to find a way.

Anyway - this is the article.  I hope that you guys have as much luck with it as I did... 

It is called 'Will daily sex cure a low libido?"

libidinous libidinous
2 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Good on you!!! Thanks for sharing the article. I think you're probably right. There must be some portion of spouses who would like to re-engage but don't know how. This might really help a few people. Thank you again!

Interesting article libidinous. I bet that would really help if both partners were committed.<br />
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However, first the sexless partner would actually have to WANT to make things work. For many experiencing a sexless marriage, the partner doesn't give a rip and doesn't think there is a problem.