Might As Well Be Dead

we have been married for 40 years and for the past 10 or more we have had sex twice.  My wife has NO interest in anything intimate.  No kissing (never has) no cuddling, no touching.  I crave the feel of a naked woman in my arms and the feel of her skin next to mine.

teddybear1013 teddybear1013
66-70, M
8 Responses Mar 13, 2009

palm29grl, you probably, lost direction and chose wrong site.<br />
Thank you mungo44 for your comments.<br />
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I am sure teddybear will find out from our comments what is wrong and what is right. I wish him to find a solution.

palm29girl<br />
the name of this site is experienceproject - the idea is to share our experiences with others - they can take them or leave them as they see fit. If you are participating in that vein then I suggest you find another site

growingoldandbitter; I agree it is indeed wanting the one you partnered with.<br />
I try not to be bitter - and have to work at it. The bitter part only causes more inner pain - try to move away from that. I immerse myself in a number of hobbies and activities and try to draw her into those so we can share something...as for the suggestion of forcing yourself on her - that would be a total disaster and probably a non-recoverable event.

I am very sorry teddybear. I have never rejected to my husband and vise versa. Sex is the best part of marriage life, I think. In my early 40s I need more than 10 years ago. I don't know what we will face in our 60's.<br />
When I was small I heard somethimes(in the night) my parents arguing . My mum said:'Live me alone, I am tired, I don't want' Now I understand that my father lives in almost sexless marriage until now. I don't think he is happy.<br />
This is the main reason why I have never rejected to my husband. I want him to be happy.

you just don't get it. It's not like the movies...sex is not everything - love is.

Palm29girl...Unbelievably insensitive.<br />
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Some of us crave intimacy with the one we exhanged vows with, committed to a life together with. It's not the same as simply wanting sex with whomever. We desperately want to share in an ex<x>pression of our love.

geez - twice in 10 years - boy are you lucky. Most of us have suffered the lack of intimacy for sometime. I am not sure if there is a solution, at 40 years, that is viable. Affair, prostitute ? ************? all options - you chose which one works at this point in time. But reflections 3 says it - it is reality and you have to find what works for you. I'm not sure about the laugh bit though...

This is the place where we understand what it feels like to want that and not to have that, even though we live with a spouse that has that. Very frustrating and very sad to have that kind of a relationship at this stage of life. I am also married 40 years and want to live before I die. My husband has turned me down so many times and then gets mad at me for what ??? asking ??? being alive enough to want to engage in sex??? for wanting the warmth and tenderness of a loving man??? I am also "guilty" of the same desires. <br><br />
He was never a very sexual person and has now begun to close down at 61. If you read my stories, you will see where I am coming from on this subject.<br><br />
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EP has been wonderful in every way. People who come here have empathy and insight. Sometimes we can keep just so much inside of ourselves before it starts to eat us up. Now I understand that life is meant to be a happy place with joy and love... yes, even now in our later years. Nobody outgrows the need to be touched, from babies to the elderly. <br><br />
You found us, so you might as well be alive with the rest of us and stay, because we haven't denied our sexuality -- it's a gift to feel as much as we feel .. It's our reality and we will do the best we can, given our situations.<br><br />
Laugh and learn, like the rest of us...<br><br />
Blessings Tonight,