Walking Out From the Center of Your Life

Has 'working on our marriage' simply made it harder to move on? (after nearly ten years of marriage, two children, meditation, medication, individual counseling, working together, home birthing, sharing and supporting each other's avocations, going into business together, sharing housework and child care, traveling, and more than a year of couple's counseling.) Where do you go when you are at the center of your life?

I sleep in the small office next to the children's room; it was so hard to get in bed night after night next to her like a corpse. I am 50. I got old so suddenly. I was young forever. I don't recognize myself. Living in a sexless marriage is like being shipwrecked. You know nobody will send out a search party for you. You fashion a bed from sticks. You curl under a log. Some days you watch the horizon and wait. Some days you shake your fist and scream into the wind.

mountainsandrivers mountainsandrivers
46-50, M
Mar 13, 2009