We Know More Than Dear Abby

This appeared on Yahoo's news for the day. Naturally the title caught my eye, but after reading it, I thought anyone of a dozen regular posters here could've answered better. So simple for Abby isn't it gang?

DEAR ABBY: I am so lonely. My husband refuses to communicate with me or do anything with me. The only outlet I have is work and school. I would like to end this misery, but I don't know where to begin. We have been married for 17 years. I have never been unfaithful to him, although I have thought about it -- not for the physical aspect, but for the communication. -- DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO

DEAR DESPERATE: Has your marriage always been this way? When did this "great silence" begin? Most important, why have you tolerated an emotional "starvation diet" for so long?

If you think your marriage is worth saving, offer your husband the chance to repair it through marriage counseling -- but be prepared for it to take some time, because old habits are hard to break. If not, then accept the fact that you have suffered enough, and formalize the reality that you haven't really been married in a very long time.

TinkerDill TinkerDill
6 Responses Mar 14, 2009

No her daughter Jeanne Phillips writes it now, and Ann Lander's daughter Margo Howard writes Dear Margo on www.wowowow.com every Thursday and Friday.

I thought Dear Abby was a computer. Isn't she dead? I heard all her letters come out of the "back files" that they recirculate. <br />
<br />
Of course I probably am totally wrong as usual.

Somewhere an Old Yiddish Grandmother is saying: <br />
<br />
"Put your big-girl panties on and deal with it."<br />
<br />
Which is why we don't see Old Yiddish Grandmothers giving advice to the public.

"DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO" ... this is a plea for companionship and sanity. My husband doesn't talk to me for days -- sometimes he finds reason and other times, just because he doesn't feel like talking. This has driven me crazy for years. Besides my begging for sex and being refused ... this has been a major issue for many years... so hurtful and so lonely to be with someone and not be able to communicate with them.<BR>I love Dear Abby's last line ...<BR>...accept the fact that you have suffered enough, and formalize the reality that you haven't really been married in a very long time.<BR>After talking with a priest, he gave me the same reality byte ... if there is no sexual relationship and one partner is unhappy with this arrangement, then there is no marriage... he vows have been broken... and add the inability to confide and talk to this person, makes for a lonely existance... our creator doesn't want us to be unhappy in a marriage ... we can't grow in this environment and only wilt.<BR>Being denied these marriage gifts is not in order with the natural state of matrimony<BR><br />
Dear Abby gave a succient answer and one that is honest and truthful.<br />
Blessings tonight

ITA with Abby. Short and to the point. So very true.

Abby dropped the ball on that one.