Frustrating Marraige

i am in a sexless marraige. it's not necessarily even a matter of sex. it's romance and the little flirtations that make a marraige exciting. i'm a very passionate person who feels sex is something to enjoy and anticipate and not a chore. i feel like i have a roomate instead of a wife.

i've told her it's a problem and i'd like to work on it together but she buries her head in the sand. i'm just trying to decide if it's worth getting a divorce over.

goodguy33 goodguy33
31-35
8 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Children would rather live in a home that is not broken compared to living in one that is.Be happy not unhappy,your children will be happier too.

You know, we are in our 35th year now and for some people its pretty much over. That intimate bonding is over rated at our age. We cuddle, we smooch, we hold hands on our walks. Thats not always enough. If you are young and its over physically, I would go to the doctor if I were a woman and see if its hormonal. My doc told me, you dont use it, you lose it.

I feel for me it wasn't the sex as much as the emotional starvation.If you can not get along out of the bedroom how can you get along in it.I am not in my 20's any more and have learned there is more to a marriage than sex. I had children though so there were not many nights after they were born that I was in the mood.Life is way more then just sex But without emotional boding there is nothing

You definitely need divorce,I am sorry to say that. I asked my husband yesterday, would he divorce me if he had lack of sex. He answered: ''Of course, it means you doesn't want me(love, like)''. Personally, I can't exist without sex. I am not a sexual maniac, I just have healthy appetite. My husband really enjoys it. I feel having sex is one of the most important part of family or partnership.<br />
You said, you haven't got children. So ,you are really lucky guy. Please, understand, that sexless marriage is not real marriage. You said like having a roommate. It is terrible. Don't hesitate, you have nothing to lose.<br />
Good luck.

iyrn4 that is my sentiment exactly.Not the sex as much as feeling the connection.Not sure how it happened to me but it did and I would rather be alone then live in a marriage where I resent every day

Unfortunatelt goodguy33, I feel your pain. Sex--in and of itself--isn't so much the problem. It is emotional starvation. No passion, no playfulness, no loving touches or looks...<br />
<br />
I wish I had an answer for you.

I feel almost the same way you do! There are some days I hate being around my wife and then there are days I love her so much. But the "lust" is completely gone and if it wasn't for my son; I would have left long ago. I know that using my son as an excuse to stay isn't right but I fear losing him more than being in a miserable marriage!

If you don't have kids... Sooner or later... If you do... Well that makes it worse. If you don't have kids or any great financial ties to one another, get out before you do.