Moving In

I was at my old place today.  I finished the last of my packing and it took two pickup truckloads to bring my stuff to my husband's home.   I saw my step-sons off as they loaded my stuff and I walked about the place looking at it for one last time, then I went to the very back of my garden and took one more look at my baby's grave. (the baby was my pet dog, he died in my arms last May.)  I wanted to just sob and it hurts to leave my home so.  I know my little fellow really isn't buried in the depths on my garden but he's in heaven but still I feel like I'll be lost at my husband's house.  

I'm glad I was alone as my husband never could handle my tears very well he seems to get so confused.  My elderly neighbor wanted to ask as he waved at me but I just didn't stop I knew I would cry and I just wanted to get my husband's house and look through my things and get ready for trash day tomorrow and stuff for goodwill.  I feel like I cleared out a house after someone had died.   I know sexlessness is why we are here but as a refuser that hates to be touched I could sure use a hug tonight.   My husband is working now so maybe I'm better off as I sobbed while writing this.

TouchMeNot TouchMeNot
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} from me too. This is the dawn of a new and better future. Remember that what you have experienced has made you the person you are today - all the good, the bad and the ugly things, all the joy and the pain . . . May you enjoy happiness from now on.

Virtual hug coming up...<br />
I sincerely hope you are moving toward a happier, more fulfilled future.<br />
All the best...<br />
FoP