Confrontation

Last week I decided that if my husband and I were not going to have any intimacy (his choice) then I would stop the public appearance of such. This was merely holding hands. I would not let him hold my hand this week-end and he became upset.  Well one thing lead to another and the next thing you know we are into it hot and heavy. I told him I knew all about his online activity (posted in another story earlier). I didn't hold anything back, it just kept flowing. What I knew, how it made me feel,  the fact he was doing this to people online that believed him, the hurt and confusion he caused them, everything! He told me he was sorry and wanted to work on our marriage. Today I feel more empty inside than ever. I feel more alone than ever. Do I trust him? I believed him the first two times. This last time he became deeply involved online. More than anyone could ever believe. There was never any physical contact with the online women. He says it was a phase, something he got caught up in and now he had out grown it. I'm afraid. Can I trust him? Can I believe him this time?

NightStorm NightStorm
51-55, F
7 Responses Mar 16, 2009

I really don't think he is interested in anyone other than himself. Maybe you should prepare to leave or find a friend with benefit and seek satisfaction outside your marriage. If he isn't interested in satisfying your needs, and it is obvious that he isn't. Look elsewhere. I hope you find happiness, some way some how, some where.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to read and comment on my story. All the comments are right. He hasn't stopped and he's not going to. He lied even when I confronted him. Only untill I said the name he was using did he shut up. He knew then I knew. He has everything on his computer hidden so I cannot find it. I'm not in a financial situation where I can just leave. I am starting to prepare for it. I just don't understand how someone can tell you they love you and then do this crap. I will never trust or believe him again and I've told him that. I've never cheated on him in life or online. It has hurt me more than anyone can imagine. I have never felt so betrayed or used. I think he wants our marriage to make it just because he needs my paycheck to help pay the bills. I also told him that. I'm really glad I found this site. You are the only ones I can talk to about this. My family and friends are several states away and I'm alone here. Thanks again....

Exactly JRSK007.

Why oh why did he need to expend time with these women online when you were 100% available and willing to be 100% into it with him?<br />
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Is he crazy... correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't one flesh and blood woman trump about a thousand online contacts?

If I had to bet on it, I'd go with "no". Good luck.

No. I would move on. {{{hugs}}} to you, and best of luck.

In a word, "NO." I know we are supposed to do everything we can to "save" a marriage. People try to rationalize wrongs committed by the ones who say and do hurtful things to the one they are supposedly in love with. At one point you have to consider the fact that some people are basically self-absorbed, egotistical jerks and there is nothing you can do about it. You should never have to put up with idiots disguised as someone who cares for you. Life is too short to be miserable with a dummy.