CEO - Chief Ecstasy Officer

I am a man, and I run a company during the day... run through various time-zones during a week... run through various continents during a month... I run. I was faithful to my wife and 2 kids during all my running.

My wife had many affairs when I ran, which I discovered, and we have been trying to rebuild our marriage. Extremely difficult, but I thought we could do it. I thought she would offer her undying love and sex in abundance to make our life better. Instead, I find myself in a marriage where she does NOT do anything remotely sexual or sensual or romantic or playful. Sensuality and playfulness fuels my creativity and makes me inspire those I come into contact with. So somehow, by God's grace, I am still running on an empty tank. But I don't know for how long. 

When I work long and hard, for my family and my children, I ache to come back from my travels... to curl into bed and feel the delicious softness of a womans body, feel her kissable lips as she sleeps, and slowly suckle on her tender breasts... and then have her slowly awaken, smile and place my hands between her lovely legs... as she rubs and purrs softly... how wonderful... and then have her move her hands  to stroke me gently... while she gently brings my lips to her nipples... urging me... to be inspired, nourished, and cared for.

Is this too much to expect? I am holding on to my marriage as my cultural traditions (Asian) compel me to find a way to work it out, and not walk away. My intellectual traditions compel me to not break my family and tear the Universe of my children apart. But my soul and heart are so thirsty for the gentle sprinkle of intimacy, sensuality, affection, and playful lovemaking. 

Ah, when will the monsoon in my life arrive? And who will come bearing those clouds laden with promise, hope, and love? When will the humid air be redolent again of the fragrance of frangipani blossoms? I wonder.

I thought CEO meant Chief Ecstasy Officer, but perhaps not. 

 

 

 

blazingcareer blazingcareer
46-50, M
8 Responses Mar 19, 2009

I agree you have probably spent to much time away from her and she has just become use to it. Have you tried to plan a week-end away for just the two of you? Make all the plans, suprise her. I know if my husband did that for me (we have no sex life) I would flip out!

It sounds like you spent too much time away from her. Too often men become workaholics for the supposed benefit of their family but providing for them gooes beyond income. Being a good husband and father also involves giving them of your time and attention. <br />
You said yourself she had the affairs when you were running. Perhaps that's because the empty pillow next to her was too much to endure. Instead of working so hard and aching to be with your family, you should find ways to make that happen. There is a passage in the Bible and no doubt in other religious texts, that says "What profiteth a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?" Your situation is exactly what it refers to. I wish you good luck in mending the rift you have now.

Yes very cute MM. . .

michellemorris...Nice reply.. Great play on words!

I traveled frequently in the same capacity as you for years, but expected nothing from my wife upon my return. As long as my children' needs were meet I sought little from a cold and distant wife. My needs were satisfied with many women , who lived in similar circumstances and found some relief in our relationships.<br />
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As I often say I do not condone affairs and although it worked for me for years it is not for all to pursue.<br />
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In your case where your wife has a record of affairs I should think that you must realize that whatever trust or love that you originally felt must have diminished to a great degree. Why you you would wish to rebuild a marriage clearly beyond repair makes you a much stronger man than I.<br />
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I wish you well and hope that the wet season will soon be upon you.

Maybe she just has a difficult time relating to you. you are gone alot. men do not need that emotional attatchment as much as women. Have you talked with her to find out what other needs she has besides the physical part of your relationship. Do not treat her as a client or a project but as someone who is fragil and gentle. It may take some time but in the end it may make you and your marrage much better.

I agree with Princess. I too have longed for and wanted all the things that you have mentioned. Even when I do travel and am away from her it is like I never really went away in the first place. No easy answers.

You made me cry. I wish I could have that. <br />
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I hope that it gets better and your wife can appreciate your affection.<br />
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Princess