Sexless Marriage

I live in a sexless marriage. I was 42 and she was 36 when we married ten years ago. I had never had real sex before marriage. She was very experienced in the sex act. The first night we had sex during the foreplay she asked me if she could help me by placing my penis in her vagina. I said okay. After we had sex she told me that a mutual friend of ours had said that I would not be able to find her vagina when we have sex for the first time and that it actually happened. After that on each occasion that we had sex she continued to place my penis in her vagina. We have not had sex for six years in a ten year marriage. I like to have sex but for some reason I do not want to have sex with my wife. Is it low self esteem? I am not sure. Our marriage is at breaking point. We have many problems. However I was told by a counsellor that the main problem seems to be that ours is a sexless marriage. What can I do to save our marriage?

rohanfdo rohanfdo
51-55
2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

I do not think that the real problem is that I have difficulty in finding the bowl and expect to be fed. The problem seems to me that I have not discussed the issue with my wife and told her that I dislike her placing my penis in her vagina and that I would like to do so myself. It possibly stems from the fact that I am not very communicative on such issues and perhaps I feel that she has more expertise in the sex act which really is the case.

I fear you have a problem that there may not be a solution for. When one has experienced in promoting sexual activity from the very beginning of your marraige and apparently things sexually haven't improved thus far, it would seem that you two will never have intimacy to any degree.<br />
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When a man cannot find the bowl without difficulty he cannot expect to be fed, is as I perceive it.