What Am I to Do

My partner of 13 years, who until recently was very sexual, and who is very affectionate, and who I love very much,  for health reasons can no longer have sex.  I'm a very young 55 year old woman to who sex is a large part of life.  What am I to do

ntoto2 ntoto2
51-55, F
3 Responses Mar 23, 2009

It may be true that there are more forms of sexual intimacy other than intercourse. But, having lived with this particular problem for almost a decade, I can tell you that it matters.<br />
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I thought we'd be okay with "everything but..." since surgeries and medication have now made a "full experience" impossible. I was wrong. Now, I can't even do "everything but..." because it makes me cry. It will probably end my 17 year marriage.<br />
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While usually I agree completely with Zorbas, I don't think that my husband's desire to be "affectionate to [my] needs" is of any consequence anymore since I need intercourse. I may be in a small majority but for me actual, penatrating intercourse with a man is crutial.<br />
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I had to be coarse but...I can do everything else myself or with a toy. I want what only a man can give me.

Workingonit.... said it all . Sex is possible in varied forms ,inasmuch as it all starts in the mind and goes from there. Be innovative, there is a four billion dollar sex toy industry out there at your disposal. <br />
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You are extremely fortunate in that regardless of his infirmities he still wishes to be affectionate to your needs. You are a lucky woman under the circumstances.<br />
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Experiment and enjoy and if that is inadequate there is always the route of having affairs but in your case that seems unnecessary.

There are many ways to keep sex/eroticism in your marriage without intercourse. It sounds as if your partner would be willing (I wish mine was!). If you're having trouble - consider a sex therapist. I'm sure you can overcome this as long as you are both willing!<br />
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Best of luck!