What Is My Wife?

 Hello all.....

I dont know if i am writing this note for you, me....or to just get a few things off of my cybernetic chest. I just feel as though i am adrift upon a flimsy raft on very rough waters...and yet seam to be going nowhere. There are waves that send me up twords the heavens for sure....but they dont last long and soon enough i find myself sinking into a sexless and passionless abyss where no life can ever exist.

Its lik e being married to a machine who is adept at playing emotional games....and who's battery life charges itself on my missery. Every step we go forward and then back...only extends its existance. Everytime she makes me feel as though we might have a breakthrough...that crumbles...her(its) mechanical core burns brighter.

Perhaps....maybe she is some form of devil? Succubi? Feeding on the negitive lifeforce that is my sorroful soul...enriching its hellbound life through my tormented heart? Playing with me knowing full well that i will never get what i want.

Unconditional love.

I remember getting married. Said the vows...read them...heard them. And yet....here is am writing on a site where we the lonely and broken hearted swarm around each other for warmth while our cold and barren husbands and wives plan their emotional escape.....

...and again....here i am....writing from my raft.

The other night i came home from a long day....got home at 8:45. I get home and the kids are still up, dishes pilled high in the sink, they just ate and are making a mess of the house....and she (it) is on the computer...(an oxymoron if you think about it). I get ready to get the kids in bed...but before i do....she whispers in my ear that she bought a new sexy outfit and tonight...we should have some adult fun.

I then split into two people. me number one gets so exited i cant remember my name, where i live and unfortunatly...my kids names (and begin yelling at them....HEY YOU, UM...YES...UM...OK, JUST GET UPSTAIRS).....Me number two yells at the top of my lungs...DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT...ITS A TRAP....WARNING WILL ROBINSON...WARNING!!!!

I like a fool....listen to me number one and with a grin like the grinch on x-mas....put the kids to bed awaiting a gift i havent opened in some time.....

They are asleep...and i go to open the bedroom door

and its locked....hook

Ok...shes getting ready....aha....(warning)

She's putting something sexy on....(um....warning)

Shes getting some toys out....(dumbass...over here....WARNING!!!!!!!)

She  opens the door....and tells me that she couldnt wait and started without me...and that she's kind of tired...and wants to know if she can get her some cold water.....

 

Now i ask you bretherin......are my thoughts without merrit. Is my wife a vast wasteland of dark water....a robotic housewife or some form of hellspawn in heels....

 

or is it me

ChaoticLove72 ChaoticLove72
36-40, M
12 Responses Mar 24, 2009

Man, you have to get out of there... If she is that twisted it is no home for your children, and you should have a chance to take them with you.<br />
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That is beyond belief. What a cruel *****... I'm with losingatlove... Ashamed to be the same sex as that fiend.

That's twisted and not in a good way, sorry for you pal -- sounds manipulative, sadistic and mean -- unless you're into that sort of thing (tease/release, witholding/control) etc. I'd RUN from such behaviour I cannot believe someone like that has kids... it's frightening.

hellspawn in heels, absolutely. I thought my wife was a **** but she would never tease and torture me like that. <br />
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I think you'll need a wooden stake and a silver bullet.<br />
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I would say the only way you'll fight this is when you reach a point when you don't care. Once she sees that her power is gone you can take advantage of it, big time. Right now you still care, a lot, and she's using this to torture you. Once she can't have that power over you ... you will weld the mighty sword in this relationship.<br />
I got there and my life is happy, happy these days. I had to get to that spot to free myself. One day I simply told her that we had no relationship but we had a responsibility to raise kids, besides that there was nothing.

Maybe (probably) it's no one's fault. We are all different and we all have different needs and desires. Maybe her behavior isn't directed AT you, but you are getting caught in the blast just the same.<br />
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I have been angry at my wife for so long, but I have reached a point where I realize it isn't her "fault." She's had a very different life than I (much harder, with much abandonment and very little love when she was young). My own needs don't mesh with hers and I'd rather part as friends and be able to give her my very valuable friendship than wait until we hate each other.<br />
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You are SO right though - life IS short and we could check out at any time. Let go of your anger. Let go of the blame. Give your wife a kiss on the cheek, tell her best of luck and put up a sail on that raft of yours. <br />
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Clear skies and warm waters await...

thing is.....you know when you morn a loss of a loved one. When you morn the loss of a relationship. The day when you are with someone and they tell you to your face that its over. Its like a band-aid being ripped from a part of your body that hurts...but heals.<br />
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This is worse....because ive been morning the loss of my marriage for years. Like being hit by an oncomming train thats going 55 miles...per day.<br />
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I know one thing. Life is short. I could get hit my a cab (i do live in NYC) on my way home from work today....and never trully have love or passion in my heart. And the question that keeps hitting me in the head like someone tapping me with an aluminum bat<br />
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TING-TING-TING<br />
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Who's fault is it...that id die like that? Is it the fault of the woman who cant love me the way i need to be loved....or the sap who doesnt get up and move on?

My wife was a computer addict in that the net was more real to her than we were (as far as I could tell), though I feel lucky now that she was just ignoring us and not toying with us. She had no hesitation about leaving the kids with me when she left. Maybe your would feel the same way...

again....last night. I get home...tell her about my horrid day at work....and i go downstairs to work out. I needed some way of releaving stress. If i dont do something...ill go insane.<br />
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Then this morning she tells me she didnt get any sleep because she was up playing with her toys.....<br />
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i dont know what to do anymore. I really dont....

Take the kids!

thanks for the comments....trully, this place makes me feel less alone that i feel in the waters around my raft......<br />
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and my only problem about just getting out....and this may sound pathetic....is leaving my two kids to fend for themselves on the same raft i now dwell on.

I'm voting for hell spawn controlling byotch. I'd call her bluff and tell her what's going to happen if she doesn't get to therapy. She is toxic, and she will turn the children against you and into creatures you don't want to know.

Hellspawn in heels? Worse. Much worse...<br />
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First thing I'd want to know is what the hell she was doing on the computer. My first thought was that she was chatting with "friends." Sorry - I hope I'm wrong.<br />
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I normally suggest trying to work things out, go to therapy... However, if my wife did that to me she'd get her glass of cold water (in her face) and then I'd find a really good lawyer.<br />
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Man, she IS inhuman - I'm just sitting here shaking my head in disbelief.

Chaotic: Where have you been?<br />
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OMG you poor soul. Did she really do that? You need to get out of there. No one should have to live that way. That is mental and emotional abuse. She is beating you down to keep you trapped. Do not allow this to continue. Grab hold of your balls, my friend and get out!