More Changes Since Joining Ep

I just received my first negative comment on a story I had recently written and this got me to thinking about more changes I have made regarding my life since being on EP. 

I used to drink myself to sleep almost every night.  Hated going up to my lonely bed and hated my life.  So I would self medicate myself with alcohol just to get some sleep.  Stumble up the stairs and fall into bed feeling so alone and sorry for myself.  Then the room would spin around and I would lay there wanting my life to just end.  Just slip away into oblivion and stop hurting inside.

Now I find myself going for days without the desire for a drink.  I am healthier and happier and my liver thanks me every day!  Writing to and hearing from my friends gives me a much better way to deal with my life.

A year ago I would have either left EP after this negative comment or wrote a scathing and angry response to it but I did neither.  Rather I opened up a part of my life that not many know about.  I responded to this comment with my own back on this story and I was grateful for doing this.  Being on EP has been such a growing experience for me.  How else would I have met so many wonderful people from so many different backgrounds and lifestyles?  

When someone reacts in a negative way to what a person writes there is usually something in the story that touches them personally.  Maybe a bad experience?  Something in their personal life that they do not like about themselves?  A feeling of superiority perhaps?  I am not sure and for me to have any judgment about this person does neither them or myself any service.  I know nothing about them.  What their life is like?  What they have had to deal with? 

So rather than taking this comment personally, I thought about it and then wrote in a way that informed this person and others to know something about my childhood and myself.  I hope this person gets back to me and I would enjoy having a dialogue with them.  Rather than being angry or upset, I am curious.  Perhaps I can learn something from this person.  We all have a wealth of knowledge.  None of us walks the same exact road in life even though we all share the same wants and needs and desires to be respected and loved for who we are. 

So I am taking this negative comment and choosing to turn it into a positive for me.  Tonight when I write in my gratitude journal I will add this to my list.  Another way I am changing how I react to my life.

 

dartist dartist
56-60, F
11 Responses Mar 25, 2009

I will do just that mrchillout! When life gets rough, one can always regroup and come out fighting with a strong spirit. Thank you for reading my story and thank you for getting what I am all about. I hope that life is treating you well and that you face each day with a fighting spirit! It is the only alternative. Dartist.

Thank you for this comment. I used to wonder why my life seemed so hard? Why my marriages did not work out? Why I felt so alone and fearful? Now I realize that I was not living my authentic life. Being true to the woman that I am. <br />
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One thing among so many that my therapist taught me was that when we are born, we are beings of pure love. Back when I was a letter carrier and in my early twenties, my supervisor came up to me and told me that , when I smiled, I reminded him of his granddaughter's face when she made her First Holy Communion. I was sort of surprised and thanked him but now I realize that what he saw was this love that I had inside of me. It lit me up from the inside out.<br />
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Over the years this light of love dimmed and almost went completely out. I actually could feel this happening to me. Now, at this point in my life, this light is starting to glow again. One of the biggest reasons for this is what I have learned here on EP. I have wonderful beautiful friends here. They inspire me to be a better person. To give of my knowledge and to take from theirs. <br />
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EP is like a well overflowing with water that quenches our thirst for acceptance and understanding. Our wishes and our hopes and our dreams fill this well up and this is why it will never go dry.

Thank you for sharing this experience. I think it's beautiful that you approach situations with such compassion and empathy and honestly believe we would have a better community and world if everyone took this approach.

Thank you for sharing this experience. I think it's beautiful that you approach situations with such compassion and empathy and honestly believe we would have a better community and world if everyone took this approach.

If I am grateful for the good in my life then more good will come to me. How can good come into a negative environment? Imagine being in a room where people are gathered. You walk in and notice two distinct groups. One group is laughing and smiling and the other group is frowning with arms crossed in a "do not approach" gesture. Which group do you feel drawn to? Which group will be accepting and positive?<br />
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Words and thoughts have power. First we have the thought and then , by writing it down, we give it more power. I started out with being thankful for that first cup of tea or coffee or how the sunlight washed into my bedroom window that morning. As time went on, I found my gratitude becoming a natural part of my life. I still have problems but most of them now seem very small in the grander scheme of things in my life. <br />
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Living with gratitude pays homage to every good thing that has ever happened to me and also to those that I love. As Rider wrote earlier, this is so simple and anyone can do it. Warm wishes on your gratitude journey.

you go girl!

A gratitude journal is such a great idea. Finding things to be thankful for when other things seem so grim has always been a weakness of mine. Perhaps I will follow your lead and begin a journal.

Another thing I do after I write my gratitude list is that I write under it what I want to bring into my life as if it is already mine. I don't ask for these things. I claim them. Such as: I have knowledge and discernment, I have good health, I have no debt and I have financial security. It can be any positive elements I want in my life. You are right that these are very simple things but they have tremendous power. <br />
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Thank you for your comment. It is so nice to hear that you share in the power of gratitude.

Thank you and you will probably have to stand line to thump a certain person. EP is a great place to vent and also to get tremendous support and understanding. The people here are among the most honest and sharing of any I have ever known. I am glad that you are a part of the family here. I am also grateful that my stories have brought so much to you. Many blessings to you in your life's journey.

I have not been in EP very long, but have already learned much! I know exactly what you mean about growing. I have read your stories and both cheered and cried at them, and sometimes they made me wish I could thump a certain someone.<br />
You are going to be all right, and I think you know that more and more each day.<br />
Bless You.

Amen Sista!