The Bright Side of Living In a Sexless Marriage

Some people know they are going to have sex on any given night.  Bless them.  Many more people are unsure if they are going to have sex on a given night, and the answer is a painful probably not.  However, I find a quantum of solace in my own situation of KNOWING I will NOT have sex tonight, tomorrow or likely any night no matter what I do.

My nature is such where I still invest time and emotional energy in this marriage, but it is nice to know that my staying up to watch Villanova dominate Duke will not lower my chances of any intimacy this weekend.  Go 'Cats!

ngl ngl
41-45, M
6 Responses Mar 26, 2009

I guess that's one way of looking at it. We might as well think there's a bright side, anyway.

Thanks for your support Ricky and ElizabethDi. Lisa, with my wife, there is not an issue of who initiates. There is nothing to initiate. She doesnt and if I do, I destroy the detente that keeps our relationship, such as it is, in balance. I wish I could move on, but my younger daughter, in particular, needs the presence of 2 parents -- she is in a very difficult place, emotionally.

After some therapy I learned, you get what you allow. If you allow yourself to be in a sexless marriage than that's what u get.<br />
You see I lived in a sexless marriage for a couple of years. I envied those woman who had to make up excuses as to why they didn't want to have sex. I always had to initiate it he never would.<br />
Near the end of the marriage and after (I knew he was cheating in my heart)I have accepted the fact that he did not want to be with me. <br />
My advice (unsolicited) is to move on with your life if he refuses counseling. No one deserves to life without physical love.

After some therapy I learned, you get what you allow. If you allow yourself to be in a sexless marriage than that's what u get.<br />
You see I lived in a sexless marriage for a couple of years. I envied those woman who had to make up excuses as to why they didn't want to have sex. I always had to initiate it he never would.<br />
Near the end of the marriage and after (I knew he was cheating in my heart)I have accepted the fact that he did not want to be with me. <br />
My advice (unsolicited) is to move on with your life if he refuses counseling. No one deserves to life without physical love.

trust me i know i'm on the same boat!

I also share that nature and energy. I too have come around to finding solace in knowing there is zero chance. I feel now the hardests to cope with is infrequent disinterested sexual activity. I felt almost as though I had done something wrong when I asked if we could have sex when it was over. It`s easier with none