RUNNING In Quicksand

On the surface all is fine....no one would suspect that my number one fantasy is getting a divorce...or at least becoming free; marriage is just sleep walking...sharing a house, friends, religion....but being careful not to go below the surface. Keeping myself healthy, knowledgeable, attractive..and just the most outgoing bubbly person...and I feel like a fake....I'd love to be grabbed and thrown on the bed...and totally ravished, from head to toe (giving back the same)...but it's a fantasy...........and I don't do "toys"..........
country country
41-45, F
5 Responses Aug 21, 2007

I know exactly how you feel...<br />
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who ever thought that the one we love in the world would turn their back on us sexually? <br />
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Life is moving on, and we're not living it to the fullest.

Country, you put it so elequently. You are so right,my two fantasies are in a fight between, getting sexually ravished by someone who is so into it or getting out of my situation without any harm done. Quicksand is the best analogy here. What I think is the main issue is that the one who is capable of so much love, cares too much hurt the other person, even if the other person does not tune in that they are devastating you as a being. I guess if I had to pick which side to be on, it would be the side I am on. Because I cannot fathom treating my spouse with neglect of affection. My mental, physical and spiritual esteem gets killed little by little at a constant rate. Staying in this quicksand, may make me stronger, but to what avail? Stronger for who?

Simply, I concur. My mental, physical and spiritual esteem gets killed little by little at a constant rate. Staying in this quicksand, may make me stronger, but to what avail? Stronger for who?

Oh god YES! - the one who is capable of so much love, cares too much to hurt the other person . . . YES.

I don't live with neglect of affection, but it is awkward being approached for sex by someone who has just treated me like ****. I would rather be ignored... no I'm sorry, no addressing the situation. If I get indignant, I"m a *****. It just HURTS, and I talk about flirting with sweet men (no sex... I'd never cheat), and I get frowned upon. There is sex and there is intimacy. God to have someone give a **** about what you think and treat you like a decent human... priceless.

CK, I don't think ANYONE gets the marriage they actually visualize... we all think differently and although we think we are getting what we want, we have to remember that times change and so do people.....

Wow! I must say at this point in my life I'm feeling the same way. I haven't even been married two years yet. This is certainly not what I thought marriage was going to be. I had a completely different vision of what it was going to be and what it should be. If it were not for our sons I'm sure I would have left my wife 6 mos. into the marriage. I'm really struggling to try to make things work but no matter what I do it just never seems to be good enough. I feel the same way country. Hopefully just knowing that you're not the only one might give you a little hope.

CK, Do you have small babies? cos your wife will be extremely tired , and not feel at all attractive at the moment, so give her time....and get a babysitter, so you can take her out, for some time on a date, like you did when you were courting....she'll love you loads for making her feel young again, although she's young, but motherhood, whacks us for six for a few years...

Do you still love your husband? Most of us here are still in love with our spouses or else I for one would get a divorce. My wife has medical reason for her lack of intimacy and I cannot imagine leaving her in her time of need. We are by all view happily married except for the lack of sex. There are a lot of stories here and some good advice from people who truely care. Read and comment on these stories, it help to know your not in this alone.