What Do You Do?

I have lived with my wife for 16+ years. I am in love with her. Her sex drive has plummeted during the last 6-7 years and then she has been plagued by depression and fibromyalgia. I do what I can and don't push but damn... I want to be with her.  Add to that that she won't oral and I will (she used to...).   Can you spell frustration.  I have never run around on her even when the opportunity was there.  I never liked cheaters but I can now see why someone would want to.  Until the mood strikes her again AND she is feeling up to it, its another frustrating night. I can't even get her to touch me if you know what I mean.

Cylon Cylon
41-45, M
2 Responses Mar 27, 2009

I thank you both for your comments. A friend of mine suggested a fleshlight. Anyone ever heard of this. I looked it up. Wow. The things that they can do with synthetics is crazy. Still.... it would only take care of the physical stuff. Yes, I am a true healthy male but I like the idea of my *** being grabbed and holding her while sharing intimate times together. In this day where so many cheat, I feel I should get some credit for still wanting to be with my wife. Why can't she see that?? I know... just blowing off steam. Thanks again for the comments.

As many well know from my comments here I feel that where illness is the cause of sexual dissipation all bets are off. On the other hand outright sexual rejection without illness as cause makes the marriage contract null and void. Your wife, from your comments, appears to have a legitimate reason for her behavior.<br />
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However that being said, if this continues unabated it makes little sense for you not to find sexual release elsewhere. The frustrations caused by sexual deprivation ultimately creates a wall in a marriage that after a time becomes insurmountable. <br />
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I have gone outside of marriages many times over the years only with married woman and have found that my sexless marriage stayed intact and was actually helped in keeping it from a contentious state..<br />
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This is not for everyone and I do not advocate it for you . It is only an option I suggest and it does have has risks both emotional and financial.<br />
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You have a lot of company on here and you will find that after all the grandiose pronouncements we in sexless marriages make here we are only able to survive in the final analysis by taking some actions. <br />
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I do wish you well in this but do understand that as sad as it may sound , once sex and intimacy are absence from a marriage it will seldom improve but only deteriorate. You are aware of this of course.