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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

How Long Must This Go On?

By: doctorirwin
Written on April 1st, 2009

It was less than a week after my 20th wedding anniversary when she said “Well I’m going to bed.” She turned and started for the stairs. I said “What no kiss?” Her reply was: “I gave you one last night! Do I have to give you one every night?” All in a snotty tone. We have not had any physical touch at all. In six weeks I will be forced to celebrating  our twenty-first anniversary. I can not believe that I will be able to find happiness in my hart on that day. As this last year as unraveled I have found myself getting sadder and sadder. I find myself totally alone in the living room with my wife and kids watching TV. I fell as if I am absolutely dead inside. I haven’t a clue as to what this might be doing to the kids. I am afraid that when they are adults there memories will be of there dad with such sorrow on his face and a lack of life. It was about three weeks ago that her friend told me that she was NOT having an affair. In fact I she always complains that she dose not get it that much. Now if I am not getting it at all and she is getting it “not that much” were is she getting it? I guess there must be something to this felling that she is making it with someone else. There is more to why I believe she is not being true to me but I’ll let that go for now. If anyone has any words of help or support could you please pass them along to me.
    Thank You:
        The Doctor

 

By: doctorirwin
Age: 46-50 , Male
456 people have read this story

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7 responses
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    doctorirwin
    doctorirwin

    Thank you Kindal, I am glad that it is over now. I maybe lonely now, not having any family, or pets living with me, but I am a lot happier now than I was in at least the last five years of the marriage.

    Nov 28, 2010
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    Kindal
    Kindal

    Mmmmmmmmmm OUch. I have had that done to me, it' cuts deep.

    Jun 26, 2010
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    doctorirwin
    doctorirwin

    We are apart now, and yes she was having that affair. Which made three in all. I have given her the house, and the car. I did so for my kids. I love them very much, and miss not seeing them every day. However, with out her around I am better.

    Apr 26, 2010
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    gentlystirred
    gentlystirred

    I can think of a couple of different things that could be going on. It could be a physical thing menapause? Could be depression? I don't know if the 2 of you have tried to communicate about this matter but after 20 years of marriage it is easy for people to be so busy with life for so long they lose that intimate connection, that brought them together to begin with. Have you considered taking some time and the 2 of you go away for a couple of days to reconnect and remember why you love each other? I tend to think she was not having an affair. From past experience if a spouse is having an affair I think it is typical that they try to overcompensate at home for their behavior.

    Apr 4, 2009
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    mrk1908
    mrk1908

    Here's my two cents worth. I would guess she's not having an affair, that she told her girlfriend she wasn't getting it "that much" to avoid the next question if she told the truth: "Why not?"

    Apr 2, 2009
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    zorbas
    zorbas

    All religious consideration aside, although they have merit, you appear to have a dilemma on your hands not of your own making.



    From my experience your wife'sclose friend may be covering up an illicit affair that your wife may be either entertaining or actually in the midst of. Friends , particularly close girl friends protect one and other in illicit affairs.

    Having been there in creating these s scenarios I have experinces first hand, the protection offered by the women involved personal friends.



    If I am wrong in my assumption here, and I dearly hope that I am you still have a woman who for whatever reason is growing distant from you and quite possibly never to return. You are a certainly not at fault from what you have written here but something has manifested itself to bring this about. Have you any idea when this first began?



    With respect to the chidren they must reamin your firts priority as you well know and you will for their benefit keep up the charade.



    I wish you only the best in this.

    Apr 1, 2009
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    Sinra
    Sinra

    Problems like this seem to fester as time passes. I would tell you to use mind manipulative techniques, but that would be wrong, right? I am sure at your age, you could guess anything I could tell you, but you should definitely confront her about this and urge your seriousness. Unless you think that it will disappear after time......................but what do I know........

    Apr 1, 2009
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