I have just found this site and thought that I would share my story with all of you. I have read some of your stories and it sounds like I am in good company! I have been married for 21 years and have an awesome 15 y/o son and a beautiful 12 y/o daughter. They are the absolute joy of my life and what keeps me going every single day.
I dated my wife for about for about 8 months before proposing to her. We were married about 8 months later. While dating, she would always put off my advances of the sexual nature, saying that she wanted to wait until she was married. I'm thinking that she is a "good" girl with morals. We get married and from day one we have sex maybe once a year and that is erring on the generous side. For the first few years she says that she isn't ready to get pregnant, even though we were using birth control. Again, I try to understand where she is coming from and continue with life. Seven years later, by a miracle, our once a year encounter produces our son. Then 3 years later our daughter. I am now thinking, no more excuses, since I have gotten "snipped". Then the excuse was "I'm fat from having the kids and YOU can't find me attractive", even though I still could.
So here I am, having been married 21 years, with about that many sexual encounters with my wife. Over the years, it has come out that there were "issues" with her dad, and her first sexual experience with her first boyfriend which caused a pregnancy that she terminated. Between both of those items, I can somewhat understand her problem. When I have told her that she "and us" could all benefit from some counseling, she goes ballistic. This indicates to me that deep down inside, she knows she has a problem but she is afraid to confront it. It is easier to blame it on me, which she always does. There is no way that I could stand too be away from my kids for even more than a day, so I just zombie my way through life. I often wonder what I will do, once they are both off to college. Will I stay in the rut or take the opportunity to start up a new life. Check-in in 6 years!!!